Homework: 

1. Study with your family "Proclamation on the Family".
2. Ponder 1 experience where you have gone through all 4 levels of learning and share it with your family.
3. Begin a list of what you want your kids to learn before they leave home.  Then pick one and plan how to do it. 
4. Read "Come Follow Me" By Practicing Christian Love & Service by Robert D. Hales November 2016.  Make a list of things you can do to be a better parent.  Then choose one to focus on.

Philosophy Professor & Chalk Story.....

There was a professor of philosophy there who was a deeply committed atheist. His primary goal for one required class was to spend the entire semester attempting to prove that God couldn't exist. His students were always afraid to argue with him because of his impeccable logic. For twenty years he had taught this class and NO ONE had ever had the courage to go against him. Sure, some had argued in class at times, but no one had ever *really gone against him* (you'll see what I mean later). Nobody would go against him because he had a reputation.
At the end of every semester, on the last day, he would say to the class of 300 students, "If there is anyone here who still believes in God, stand up!" In twenty years, nobody ever stood up. They knew what he was going to do next. He would say, "Because anyone who believes in God is a fool. If God existed, he could stop this piece of chalk from hitting the ground and breaking. Such a simple task to prove he is God, and yet he can't do it." And every year he would drop the chalk onto the tile floor of the classroom and it could shatter into a hundred pieces. All of the students could do nothing but stop and stare. Most of the students were convinced that God couldn't exist. Certainly, a number of Christians had slipped through, but for 20 years they had been too afraid to stand up.
Well, a few years ago there was a freshman who happened to enroll in the class. He was a Christian, and had heard the stories about this professor. He had to take the class because it was one of the required classes for his major. And he was afraid. But for three months that semester, he prayed every morning that he would have the courage to stand up no matter what the professor said or what the class thought. Nothing they said or did could ever shatter his faith, he hoped.

​Finally, the day came. The professor said, "If there is anyone here who still believes in God, stand up!" The professor, and the class of 300 people looked at him, shocked, as he stood up at the back of the room. The professor shouted, "YOU FOOL! If nothing I have said all semester has convinced you that God doesn't exist, then you are a fool! If God existed, he could keep this piece of chalk from breaking when it hit the ground!" He proceeded to drop the chalk, but as he did, it slipped out of his fingers, off his shirt cuff, onto the pleats of his pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. And as it hit the ground, it simply rolled away, UNBROKEN. The professor's jaw dropped as he stared at the chalk. He looked up at the young man and then ran out of the lecture hall. The young man who had stood up proceeded to walk to the front of the room and share his faith in Jesus for the next half hour. 300 students stayed and listened as he told of God's love for them and of his power through Jesus.

​How did your week go?
 
Class member:  I questioned everything I did as a parent this week.  You also told us to testify of truth.  My daughter found out her best wasn’t good enough when she tried out for a team.  I was able to testify of her Divine Nature.
 
Class member:  I just want to say that coming last week filled my bucket.  I was a lot more patient and loving. 
 
They figured out their parenting style.  I didn’t ask you to change it, just be aware of it.
 
Class member:  I’m a ‘fly by the seat of my pants’ parent.
 
You are a reactive parent.  You react to the situations as they happen.  They do it and we react to it.  They are in charge of parenting.
 
Class member:  My husband and I were talking to our son and his friend.  We asked them what our parenting style was.  It was interesting to listen to them.  My son said I was a Cheerleader Mom.  Dad was quiet.  I think that means he listens well.  The other boy told us he was a lecturer Dad. 
 
It’s interesting when they are older to see what they think of you, but be brave before you ask.
 
Class member:  I think when I’m spiritual I’m on top of it.  When I’m having a hard time I’m all over the board.  Our biggest issue is 12 and she is super naïve.  We think my focus is the crazy anxiety that is affecting my daughter.
 
Homework last week was to look your parenting style and also choose one of the 5 fortifications and try to improve on it this week. 

What is your parenting teaching style? (Ponder question)
 
Until we see what we do and determine it’s effectiveness it’s hard for us to change. 
 
My daughter played volleyball in high school.  She was good, but she hadn’t mastered the overhand jump serve.  She would practice serve after serve.  The coach came over to her and said you are not doing this right.  You need to keep practicing and he left.  She knew she wasn’t doing it right.  She could see it wasn’t going over the net.  He didn’t give her specifics/techniques on how to make it better.  He didn’t say that to her. 
 
If I say I’m going to give you new tools, but if you don’t know where you are you won’t know what exactly you need to change to get that parenting right on.  You have to understand what you parenting style is.
 
I was raised by a military Dad.  He would bark orders and I would say “Yes sir!”  I was very compliant, but I carry a lot of baggage into adulthood.  You begin parenting like you were parented.  A lot of times that doesn’t work. 
 
We tend to do what we know with greater intensity.  If it didn’t work before it’s not going to work now.  Because society is changing we have to change parenting.  The Lord is teaching us how to do it if we can read his handbook.  We are going to learn how to read his handbook.
 
What are some parenting styles?

• Control
• Lecture
• Guilt
• Fear
• Permissive
• Helicopter
• Referee

 
You can be a different style with every child and you should be.  We tend to pick a style and then do it.  It will work with one, but it won’t work another one. We have to parent according to the child.
 
Class member: What are some positive ones?
 
Write down on your ponder pad what you think your parenting style is. What is the method you use to teach your children?  Generically what is your method of teaching?
 
I think many of you do what’s called reactive parenting meaning the child misbehaves, you engage & correct the misbehavior, and go on.  It’s their misbehavior that causes you to engage to teach.  Your primary way of teaching right and wrong is engage when they are misbehaving on a daily basis and FHE once a week.  That is the view of what we have that makes good parents. 
 
I’m a child.  I want that truck.  I grab it and take it away.  Mom sees me and says “We don’t do that.  We share.  We are going to take turns.”  I’m mad because I want the truck.  She makes me give it back.  As an angry child how much of that sinks in?  It doesn’t sink in and it doesn’t register.  That isn’t a good teaching moment.  You must parent to it, but is that when you teach the principle?  No.  Principle is not being learned then. 
 
Are you really teaching at moments when principles can be internalized?
 
Write down 3 things that you are worried about in society for your children.  Fearful things you are concerned with.
 
Class members:

• Media
• Peer Pressure
• Testimony or lack of
• Entitlement
• Morality
• Not being respectful
• Feeling worthless
• Drugs
• Pornography

 
Sometimes we parent from a point of fear.  It’s a fear of losing our children.  A fear of them not liking us.  A fear that we as a parent are doing it wrong.  When we parent out of fear we become a helicopter mom.  That is a hovering Mom.  You are afraid they are going to get hurt.  You solve all their problems for them.  We give them the answer.  We are forever telling them what to do.  We think by doing that we are helping them grow.  We are actually handicapping them and making them dependent on them.
 
The biggest problem in the MTC is that they don’t know how to think. 
 
A young person went over to college and her Dad asked her if she had been to church.  She said no.  He asked why and she said because no one had come and gotten her.
 
The lawn mower mom….is someone who goes before the child to mow the lawn and make it smooth and clean so they don’t have to do anything hard.  We do it to them.  We teach them to be incapable of saying no to drugs, sex, and pornography.  We make them so week they can’t stand up for truth.  The intent is good, but we handicap our children when we do it. 
 
We have to understand what it is that we are doing in our lives and how we parent.
 
Alma 50:23   But behold there never was a happier time among the people of Nephi, since the days of Nephi, than in the days of Moroni, yea, even at this time, in the twenty and first year of the reign of the judges.
 
We think entitlement make our children happy, but the scriptures say in the middle of war and turbulence there ‘never was a happier people’. 
 
Alma 49:8
But behold, to their uttermost astonishment, they were prepared for them, in a manner which never had been known among the children of Lehi. Now they were prepared for the Lamanites, to battle after the manner of the instructions of Moroni.
 
“They” are the Lamanites. 
 
2 keys….They were prepared after the manner that had never been known before.  Following the prophet. 
 
It usually takes 10 years for the church to incorporate a new teaching (Elder Boyd K. Packer)
 
We have to parent “in a manner that has never been known before”.  Not the way we were parented and not the way the world parents.
 
There may be a lot of members in the church who may criticize you for how you are parenting your children.  I want to help you parent in a different way. 
 
Principles we are going to teach may be new. 
 
Class member:  We are reading this as a family.  We just read this chapter this morning.  Moroni had spent the time to fortify and protect. 
 
Our handbook for parenting comes from the prophet.  That is who we need to look to.  Always the prophet!
 
Alma 50:1
And now it came to pass that Moroni did not stop making preparations for war, or to defend his people against the Lamanites; for he caused that his armies should commence in the commencement of the twentieth year of the reign of the judges, that they should commence in digging up heaps of earth round about all the cities, throughout all the land which was possessed by the Nephites.
 
Are we only going to teach it once and expect it to stay with them? 
 
What does it mean to have ‘intention, righteous’ parenting?
 
Class member:  I think it means being a proactive parent.  I think you need to teach it before they encounter it.
 
Class member:  You are having constant talk about those same things all the time. 
 
Class member:  It’s studying those patterns.  We had FHE and scripture study.  It’s setting those patterns so you do it at those times.
 
Class member:  I think it’s working backwards.  You know what you want and then work backwards from that.  With that goal in mind.
 
How many of you when you were pregnant didn’t think about being pregnant the whole time you are pregnant?   You are aware of it all the time.  That’s what intentional is.  It is always there. 
 
How intentional is your testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ?  Do you go to church because that’s what we do?  Do you have a calling because that’s just what we do?  Do you keep the commandments because that’s what we do?  OR do you have a testimony of those things?  Is it exciting to do it?  It’s based on how much we have the Savior in our lives every day.  Those things we do in the gospel are joyful.
 
We want our children to have that testimony.  Can they be there if we are not on fire with it?  Does it govern choices?  We used to be able to parent the gospel as a set of rules, but we have to do it differently now.
 
Alma 50:1-7
1 And now it came to pass that Moroni did not stop making preparations for war, or to defend his people against the Lamanites; for he caused that his armies should commence in the commencement of the twentieth year of the reign of the judges, that they should commence in digging up heaps of earth round about all the cities, throughout all the land which was possessed by the Nephites.
 
 2 And upon the top of these ridges of earth he caused that there should be timbers, yea, works of timbers built up to the height of a man, round about the cities.
 
 3 And he caused that upon those works of timbers there should be a frame of pickets built upon the timbers round about; and they were strong and high.
 
 4 And he caused towers to be erected that overlooked those works of pickets, and he caused places of security to be built upon those towers, that the stones and the arrows of the Lamanites could not hurt them.
 
 5 And they were prepared that they could cast stones from the top thereof, according to their pleasure and their strength, and slay him who should attempt to approach near the walls of the city.
 
 6 Thus Moroni did prepare strongholds against the coming of their enemies, round about every city in all the land.
 
 7 And it came to pass that Moroni caused that his armies should go forth into the east wilderness; yea, and they went forth and drove all the Lamanites who were in the east wilderness into their own lands, which were south of the land of Zarahemla.
 
Fortifications…..trench, dirt, timbers, pickets, towers, stones/arrows, drove out the Lamanites
 
In the battle there was a bunch of Lamanites killed to the point that they filled the trench with the bodies of the Lamanites.  Not one Nephite was killed.  The power in fortifying our children is in the preparation we do.  The Stripling Warriors had to be fortified before they went to war.  Their mothers knew it.  Their dads had been killed instead of breaking the covenants they made. 
 
Those young men worked in the fields to raise crops to feed the armies that would protect their families.  Now there is a need they know how to work hard.  They are not self-entitled.  They have been giving their lives in service and gratitude.  Their preparation was solid. 
 
Are you driving out things that may be harmful in your home?  Media, movies, music
 
My son gave a lesson on fortifying our kids against pornography from a bishops point of view.  He said 100% of the youth had been involved in someway in his ward.  This is the young men and the young women.  Boys get hooked from devices…phones, iPads, in your home or out of it….it’s creating problems with masturbation.  Girls have a problem with masturbation, but it comes from the romance novels they are reading.  He is in a good ward in the middle of Utah.  The parents in the ward do not know. 
 
You will learn to read your children so well that you will be able to search out what it is. 
 
If a novel entices those feelings in people it is wrong. 
 
5 Defenses that are the Fortifications for our Families:
These things are done in times of peace.  He was ready and prepared.  Your children will still be tempted and wounded, but they won’t be killed.  The battle with sin is real.
 
“Too many of our Father in Heaven’s children are being overcome by worldly desires. The onslaught of wickedness against our children is at once more subtle and more brazen than it has ever been. Teaching the gospel of Jesus Christ in the home adds another layer of insulation to protect our children from worldly influences.”  L. Tom Perry “Mothers Teaching In the Home”
 
 
1.  Teach Principles.

• Stop teaching as a set of rules.  The Lord gives you a handbook.  It’s online.  You go to lds.org and you pull up the Come Follow Me Program  I ask questions and you respond and teach yourself.
• There is a new seminary program that they are doing this year.  They now have “Doctrinal Mastery”  They will be able to quote verses that testify of the doctrine. 
• Example….Modesty and dating…the doctrine on “Marriage & Family”.

 
(This is the ‘what to teach’)
The other nine doctrinal points include:

• The Godhead
• The plan of salvation
• The Atonement of Jesus Christ
• The Restoration
• Prophets
• Priesthood and priesthood keys
• Ordinances and covenants
• Marriage and family
• Commandments

 
Come Follow Me is (‘how to teach’)
 
Teaching is a full time job.  This isn’t just for FHE.  This is an every day event.  This is mini moments in the car going somewhere. 
 
Class member:  Come Follow Me….Curriculum is what you are teaching, but also ‘how you are teaching’.   It talks about asking questions. 
 
If you have this then you have intentional FHE.  They are focused on this.  We need to work carefully to teach doctrine.  Not to teach practices…that’s how you implement them in your home. 
 
2.  Find Safety in the Temple

• That doesn’t just mean us.  Your children can do indexing, baptisms.  When I get there at 5:15am there are youth lined up ready to do baptisms.  5:15-7:15pm they did over 400 ordinances.  We had that many youth in the temple doing baptisms.  The Spirit is amazing!
• Elder Bednar says that will be the safety net for our children.  He also said don’t force them to do it, but if you are converted and excited about it that will reach down to them.  They will get excited too. 
• As they experience the temple from 12 years on up they want to get married in the temple. 
• Take your children to the temple and sit on the temple grounds.  There should be a temple picture in your home and in each of their bedrooms.  You can do so much without saying “the rule is…get married in the temple”. 
• You need to involve them and bring them in.

 
3.  Study and Follow the Prophet AND Local Leaders

• No one should be finding fault with your bishop.  Don’t allow them to call the bishop by their first name.  You are teaching children respect for the calling.  During the period that they serve as bishop they need to be called “Bishop”. 
• What message are you saying to your child when you are complaining about your calling?
• We commit ourselves to consecrate our lives to the Lord in the temple.  You have already made it in the temple. Sometimes we need to say yes and then pray that the Lord will change our heart.
• We need to be careful in how we teach our children to sustain their leaders.
• We teach them that they can choose which commandments they want to follow. 
• Our influence permeates to our children and then we wonder why they aren’t converted.
• Class member: Criticism is the first step to apostasy.

 
4.  Bear and Live Your Testimony

• I challenge you to bear your testimony at the pulpit this next fast Sunday.
• Bear your testimony often in conversation to your children. 
• You will find this in making statements of truth. 
• Class member:  A Statement of Truth---is doctrine.  Example:  I know that I can be forgiven of my sins because Jesus Christ atoned for my sins.  They are trying to teach them that they can pick our doctrinal truths and make those statements.  Ask the youth to put into a Statement of Truth. 
• Example:  I’m so grateful for the colors on the trees.  I love fall and the trees.  Connect that to the gifts of the Savior…I am so grateful for the happiness I feel in me because that’s the Holy Ghost telling me to be happy.
• Example:  Some of the things to start the conversation with is “I know…” or “I testify…”
• FHE, family & personal scriptures, family & personal prayer, and regular temple attendance….you have to have the foundation laid.  If those 4 things are strong you can handle it.  If you are lacking in one of those there is a void.  It has nothing to do with what is going on in your home. 

 
5.  Sabbath Day Observance & Partaking of the Sacrament with Real Intent

• Teach your children the meaning and purpose of the sacrament. By the time they are 4 they can get it.  They may need some prompts and a picture to look at, but they can begin that process of having a holy experience.

 
D&C 59:9
And that thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspottedfrom the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day;
 
If we build these fortifications with peace you will be able to withstand.  You may be scarred, but you will win.  These 5 areas are critical to our defense system.  As we go through the semester we will get really specific with them.
 
I know that if you will keep your covenants and keep your foundation strong He will walk before you and send angels to go before you.  Elder Holland says Mothers will have angels to walk with you. If you fortify them and live worthy. 
 
“My beloved brothers and sisters, I testify of angels, both the heavenly and the mortal kind. In doing so I am testifying that God never leaves us alone, never leaves us unaided in the challenges that we face. “[N]or will he, so long as time shall last, or the earth shall stand, or there shall be one man [or woman or child] upon the face thereof to be saved.”13 On occasions, global or personal, we may feel we are distanced from God, shut out from heaven, lost, alone in dark and dreary places. Often enough that distress can be of our own making, but even then the Father of us all is watching and assisting. And always there are those angels who come and go all around us, seen and unseen, known and unknown, mortal and immortal.”  Jeffrey R. Holland The Ministry of Angels
​

Share which class impacted you most this semester.

Class member:  I am humbled because I came to the 4 legs of the table.  We have that done, but my attitude isn’t there.  I felt inspired on things to do to make it fun.  I wanted to get it ‘into’ instead of just ‘unto’.

Class member:  The first lesson…making your children self reliant.  When she had a suggestion to just let her try.  Backing them into an emotional corner.  I liked that too.  Hopefully after today this will be a good one.

Class member:  I enjoyed the color code.  I am white.  My husband is white.  My daughter is red/yellow.  It was hard.  It was good to recognize her strengths.  We had to focus on how much it didn’t bother us. 

A white parent has to learn to be a little more firm with a red.

Class member:  I liked the doctrine on the family a lot.  I didn’t even think about communication.  I read President Hinckley’s talk before he gave the Proclamation.

We believe in eternal families and being married in the temple, but we don’t teach the doctrine.

Class Member:  This has been my 3rd session.  My all time favorite was Doctrine on the Family.  I’m in the Primary as well.  I can’t forget about the flack with that new song in Primary, but to hear the negative aspect has been making me think a lot.  I couldn’t shake that lesson.  I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.

Follow the prophets.  Cling to them.  Hang on to them.  You are going to hear things.  If the Lord wants the doctrine changed he will change it not social media or pressure.  The times are going to get worse in the church.  The parable of the 10 virgins is the members of the church.  Be careful.  Don’t be swept by someone in the church that starts teaching you something.  If you can back it up by what the brethren say.  When the Lord wants us to have it, it will come from the brethren.  Listen to what they say about same-sex marriages.  We love the people, but don’t accept the practice.

Class member:  It’s interesting that the morals have changed.  We haven’t changed.  They have.  It was not acceptable to get pregnant when you were 15.  You didn’t go to school for 9 months.  We aren’t the ones who have changed.  Society has. 

The prophets have said that we need to stand out as a happy peculiar people.  Joy that we are free from the bondage those things create.  Don’t feel angry or ashamed.  Those who came and partook and the people  laughed and were ashamed and were lost. 

Class member:  Yesterday my teenage daughter opened up a debate about whether you can legislate morality.  She was attacked by students, peers, and teacher.  She was afraid to go to school.  She was afraid she had said the wrong thing.  My husband is meeting with the principal and the teacher today at lunch. 

To have your husband go and defend her you are doing it.  That is bullying. 

Class member:  The teacher has an agenda.  He is malicious with her.  She is afraid of him and the students. 

You are doing what’s right in defending her and helping her.  We are all going to have that.  Our young people many of them are facing that.  It’s easier to capitulate than to stand up for what is right.  We stand by them and cheer them on. 

Class member:  Studies show that kids do better with a mother and father.  He left his wife and left his kids.  He knows. 

This is what our children are facing.  Adults and peers will attack them.  This is it.

Class member:  Even with your daughter the most important thing is that she knows you are behind her.  Our daughter came home and explained what happened with a teacher and vice-principal.  They had bullied her into saying she had done something she hadn’t.  Her whole demeanor changed when she knew that her Mom believed her.

Over time it will give her courage.  It won’t take away the pain or the fear.  This is beyond her capacity.  You don’t have to let them fight this battle alone.  It sends a message that I care about you and I will stand up for you when you stand up for what is right.  If he is that bitter and angry he can’t leave it alone.  They think they should choose their way, but you aren’t allowed to choose your opinion. 

Class member:  It’s great that you have taught her well enough to be able to stand for what is right.

Class member:  When enough people stand up for what is right.  There is a girl involved in band she was a habitual liar.  Because he was her section leader he was involved in everything and went to the band director.  Maybe this is just the first time, but after a few more maybe something will be done. 

There is heat when you stand up for what is right.  I’m proud of you, your family, and I’m proud of her.  What a wonderful daughter you have.

Class member:  We were following along in the morality section and a lot of it will fall in to that

How did your week go? 

Class member:  Sunday’s lesson with Sunday School was geared towards this.  I mentioned what you said about those little things we are doing.  I brought up those little things we do as Mom’s or Dad’s that are preventing the spirit in our home and giving Satan a window to come into our lives.  I don’t think everyone agreed.  Some of them are probably in a little bit of denial.  I think it’s that they don’t realize they are participating in it as they are.

I think it’s interesting to set a standard for the spirit to guide you, but as you get older there is an adult standard and a youth standard.  There shouldn’t be.

Class member:  I thought it was interesting.  My best friend had to give a talk in Stake Conference and it was all about the Proclamation on the Family.  It was good to hear the kids perspective of it.  You just need to start somewhere.  One of the sites she had everything broken down by sentence.  I can start with FHE, but memorizing seems a little overwhelming. 

Class member:  “What you know by heart is what your heart really knows.”

Class member:  We have a bunch of binders and page protects.  I blew up each paragraph on it’s own page and page protector with dry erase markers.  It’s ready to go to get it memorized. 

The scriptures I want to memorize is right there on a 3x5 card by the sink.  You can read it while you are doing your hair or makeup.  Don’t look at the whole thing. 

One of the things I hope you got is the fact that we need to teach family.  That was something that was just accepted.  We taught you have to get married in the temple to have an eternal family, but to teach the actual doctrine until just now we didn’t have to teach it, but now you do with real intent.  We have to teach that the family unit is the keystone of salvation.  We get a little frightened by society and thinking we want to teach our children to be tolerant and acceptable of people.  We need to teach them to be kind, but now allowing of sin.  Satan is so subtle.  He makes it very appealing.  As they become more familiar with it…it just becomes a choice to them, not a principle of doctrine.

Class member:  With my little boy that has so much energy.  I feel like I was prepared for you to come into my life we had signed up for Cable.  It was a joke how easy we jumped into that.  We ad already decided we were cancelling that.  I was dropping the cable off after our 1st class, but we still have Netflix.  The kids just shifted into Netflix and detest a lot of the shows that are ok for kids.  We broke Netflix this last week.  It was harder for me to admit how hard it was for me to give that up.  We played at the park a lot.  It’s lazy parenting.  It’s easy. 

I think that’s marvelous.  That’s huge.  Give yourself lots of credit for that.  Isn’t it interesting how we take our children and see their behavior and we want to train them not to watch a certain movie or say certain words.  We know that’s not what we want them to be, but we are doing it and justifying it in ourselves.  Why is it different?  The Spirit is the Spirit! 

Class member:  I had a situation with my 14 year old girl.  She and all her friends wanted to have a movie night.  They wanted to watch 2/3rds of Les Mes.  They were going to skip parts of it.  When I think of that show I am physically ill.  I told her know and why and she was good about it. 

They want us to set barriers.  I used to tell my kids that I was the scape goat.  Prom dresses….your seniors know if they are modest or not.  Many of you parents allow yourself to be broken down with “It’s just this once.  There isn’t anything else around.”  When you rationalize not living a commandment with exactness. 

Class member:  They will remember when you ‘allowed’ it not how many times you don’t allow them to do something.

When does the council of Heavenly Father becomes applicable.  You can’t wear the sundresses when you are little, but not when you are older.  It goes the same way when you are older.

Class member:  My old ward had heard of some concerns in the schools.  They decided that they needed to take action on it.  They had the parents and all the youth for Sunday School meet together and the bishopric went over what was happening.  I like how you said you need to teach the doctrine.  Basically what came out of it was that some people have those feelings it is not wrong unless you act upon it.  Some people think I am bad because I have these feelings.  So what’s the point because I am a bad person.  We have tendencies to have attractions to other sins that aren’t good, but if we don’t act on them we are still being good.  We can’t judge.

That is exactly right.  That is the doctrine that we teach that we don’t act upon it.  That gets really grey in some parents mind.  How you teach that is where our youth and even adults get foggy about accepting the sin, making it ok.  We have to be very clear on doctrine.  We need to focus on teaching true doctrine and helping them get the testimony of the true doctrine.

Class member:  We can’t change the world, but we can control what comes into our home.  Do we still have to teach them that people will still make their own choices? 

That’s where we have to distinguish that if we have taught them the doctrine and someone comes into their circle and have someone that has a different family type what is the first things you want to say…”That’s not good.”  Turn it to a question, “We have talked about this.  What does Heavenly Father teach about families?”  Then tell them we love them.  Heavenly Father loves them, but they are not good choices.  Then the Holy Ghost can testify that it’s true.  We validate that we love them, but they are not good choices.  Teach this is the Lord’s plan.  We love them.  They are not making good choices.  WE can’t teach them that it’s ‘ok’.  As soon as we say they are free to make their own choices then they feel like ‘It’s ok.  It’s just my choice.”  Heavenly Father still loves them, but not the choice.

Class member:  “I Love My Friends” audio talk---He was talking about righteous judgment and how to apply that.  It made a difference in my 8 year old.  It helped her to talk about and see what we were talking about last week in seeing how they can have what Heavenly Father has designed for their family.  It was an interesting conversation about righteous judgment.  A lot of times we talk about being non-judgmental.  There is a difference between being judgmental and righteous judgment. 

Class member:  The stuff you are talking about is really personal to me.  It has been difficult to find how to treat that.  Everyone is in a different place.  Some are single.  Some are married.  Mom was so afraid of losing him that she got really mad at us when we said we can’t accept this around our kids.  I do feel so good about how we have handled it.  We have made mistakes.  It’s hard to find how do I still love him, but teach our children that it’s not ok.  Everyone loves him and he is talented, but what he is doing is not ok.  We don’t agree with those and we know that is wrong.  We have started a more in-depth study of the Proclamation on the Family.  I have to be faithful and trust that what we are doing is right. 

I really appreciate you being brave enough to share.  This is the bottom line truth.  You teach the doctrine.  You teach Heavenly Father’s doctrine.  Everyone of you sometime in your family will come in contact with this…in an extended family member.  Definitely in the very close world.  They will face this and it will be personal.  When it becomes very personal if you get down on your knees and say, “I’ve done what you have asked me.  Now how do I move forward?”  He will guide you in what to do next.  If we don’t do our homework and lay that foundation then we go to Heavenly Father it’s like giving him a ‘to do’ list. If you go through the Book of Mormon…underline with some weird color that have passages that talk about the Korihors and Anti-Christ that flatter the people and lead them away.  This is what they are doing.  They are telling the people what they want.  It’s cyclic.  You will see if over and over and over.  Satan is having a hay day right now.  He is laughing at how good people are slipping.

Class member:  This year in my family I’ve had 3 cousins that have had babies without husbands.  I don’t want to go celebrate this.  I can’t not go and have them think I’m ‘better than they are’. 

Class member:  There is a young woman in our ward that has had a baby out of wedlock.  A lot of us were not surprised, but to watch her go through the process of repentance she is more on the track than she has ever been.  She named the baby meaning ‘God’s gift’.  I was impressed watching this mother love this wayward child right back onto the path.

All of these people can repent and be forgiven.  In not holding judgement we still have to teach our children doctrine.  What would you teach your children?  Do you see how difficult and hoard this has been, but you can still repent.  Sometimes we teach repentance as saying “I’m sorry.”  It is a process of changing our heart, but it is a process.  Yes we can change our heart.  We can do that and we must allow other people to do that.  That’s why we talked about restitution as one of the tools. 

Class member:  I’m a single mom.  I think that I learn off consequences.  What my parents taught me is that this is how you are going to end up for eternity.  If you are comfortable with this then you will be here.  I think my children really saved me.  I was not in a good place.  My Mom always told me that I would be accounted for.  He is going to ask you if you taught your children.  Once I had them that responsibility came up and I have to teach them what is right no matter what I did in the past.  I can see the repentance process.  It is still your responsibility. 

Some of you have been doing some good thinking on last week. 

I love to watch the Olympics.  All of these people that have given their lives to become perfect in something.  I was reminded of why our President Obama didn’t go to the Olympics.  One of the primary reasons is because the Russians are anti-gay and there is a legal thing against them.  He looks at it like a civil rights kind of thing.  Part of his campaign was gay rights.  I took with me a granddaughter that just turned 13 in middle school.  She said in the halls at school they have kids making out.  She thought that was horrid.  There are boys making out with boys and girls making out with girls in the hallway in middle school.  It didn’t surprise me, but made me ill. 

You go on Facebook and see the ads down the side Ellen DeGeneres is just plastered there.  That is constantly being put before them.  Then we have the new sitcoms on Prime time TV.  They are about 2 dads and a boy.  They are about different kinds of families.  That is presented in humor.  They are funny.  Then you have a lot of your children’s friends parents are divorced.  Divorce in the church is at 50%.  We have a high rate of crime, garbage and immortality going on in the world.  Now it is flaunted when girls show up to school pregnant.  Our youth because they are seeing so much of this…being gay or lesbian has become a curiosity.  Some of them in their youth if they don’t have a boy friend will try out a girl friend.  It’s an adrenalin thing. 

I think that he tries to get his attention by announcing he is gay.  He isn’t popular.  He’s kind of nerdy.  What matters is what our children are encountering, what they were living with.

The scriptures have said this will be part of our time.

Look at youth idols.  They start out as these innocent role models.  What do they stand for?  What do we have?  You watch styles and children in sitcoms on TV they are acting roles of adults in a very young age…tight pants, low necks, skimpy bathing suits for little people. The media is very powerful, even if you don’t have it in your home. 

Parents are being portrayed as dumb and inept.  Watch commercials…they have children telling Dad’s what kind of insurance to buy on TV.  Parents are being portrayed as foolish and out of touch.  Any anti-family media is anti-Christ.  Our youth are being desensitized to being against families. 

Class member:  We teach our children these things are wrong, but they aren’t shocked or appalled.  It’s just a part of life.  They are losing that innocence. 

Korihor the Anti-Christ Alma 30:18  “Leading away the hearts of many, causing them to lift up their heads in wickedness, yea leading away many women.”

These kids that are finding pleasure in immodest clothing or inappropriate relationships with same sex and some of us to a degree find a ‘high’ in getting involved just a little in it.  Would you be able to watch what you watch with your Savior.  Do they walk hand in hand with the Savior?  Do we rationalize and justify the things we really want to watch?  Sometimes what we bring in is part of the desensitizing stuff.  Evaluate and see if it’s conducive of the spirit of the Lord. 

Why does that scripture say “women” in that scripture?

Families are ‘us’ centered.  The world teaches ‘I’ centered. 

When you talk to the youth they will say…I want a career.  I want to travel.  Then I want a family.  It’s good to be educated to raise children.  It’s vital.  It’s a commandment.  When the goal is to have power in a career or money in that career.

The Lord warns us way in front to prepare us.  We can go and say “I didn’t do, but I did know”. 

The Utah church said that family will be defined as a husband and wife.  With the president saying what he is saying they will lose.  Idaho’s ‘family’ law is being challenged.  Your children are going to live with that.  What we are teaching is wrong will be politically correct.  The church has said….”Changes in the civil law can not change the civil law.  His law of chastity is clear.  Legally and lawfully wedded.” Dallin H. Oaks Conference talk 2013.

Not to put our head in the sand, not to look at it and give up, but to take a stand in righteousness.  We need to do that!  The insert says ‘being involved’ in your community.  Because we are busy with life and children.  We tend to not get involved.  We need to make a righteous voice heard.  The unrighteous voices are heard very loudly.  It’s because righteous voices are being quiet.  We need to start being heard.  We need to go about it in legal and lawful ways.  We need to vote.  Campaign for them.  Help children get involved in good causes.  We need to be a voice that defends these truths and not be fearful. 

When young women come from a divorced family or the parents argue a lot they become discouraged about forming eternal families.  Their feeling is that they can not make it work.  Why do I want to get married and put myself it a position to be miserable.

Class member:  I am primary chorister in our ward.  There is a lot of contention around the song “A Family Is of God”.  They don’t have a family unit that is tradition.  Someone responded that is why it is important to teach our kids that it is possible for them to have the family that God wants.  There are some that refuse to teach a couple of the verses because they don’t agree with them.

This flack is coming from within the church.  This is why Satan is so subtle.  He wants members of the church to think in the name of protecting that we agree and accept everything.  We don’t want to make them feel bad.  We want to teach them God’s way.  His principles are sure.  They are defined and they will not change.  They have to know that ‘they’ regardless of what they come from can have those eternal families for themselves.  When we take it away from them they become victims. 

Class member:  With gay marriage there are people that say the church was against ‘blacks’ and now it is ok.  How do we talk about that?

Class member:  The church has a lot of views on the website about being gay.  It’s put very delicately. 

Class member:  It was always prophesied that the blacks would always have it. 

Class member:  You can’t control the color of your skin, but you can control your choices.

Class member:  When I have heard that people say like with polygamy how many times the church caves.  There would be more that the church will cave on. 

I think we have to realize that everyone has to do their own inventory about their selves.  The think about the primary song.  Women wearing pants to church or getting into the Priesthood session.  This problem with the song is coming from within the church.  You have to decide where you stand.  The doctrine of the gospel is true.  It is sure.  It will not be changed.  We have to decide which side of the line will we stand on. 

In the last days they will teach good as evil and evil as good.  (scriptures)

Because it is presented in such an appealing as a Christian ‘love your brother’ way they want to be Christ-like.  There are places where the line is drawn.  It won’t move.  You have to choose which side you will be on.  We need to reach out more to those children and love them more and visit them more and comfort them more.  Help them know this is where the Lord’s principle is.  You may not live in that kind of home, but you can have it.  This is a refining sifting period in the church.  Follow the prophet!

Class member:  In 1995 when the Proclamation in the Family came out it defined what marriage is.  It s such a great safety net for the church.  We have defined it and haven’t changed our stance.  We can have that to fall back on.  80% of their ward voted for President Obama.  They are leading the movement on wearing pants to church and going to Priesthood session.

Class member:  I think that’s why I’ve enjoyed this class so much.  I’ve learned is the power we have as women and what Heavenly Father has given to us as women.  Everything you are saying is true.

Class member:  I got married the year the Proclamation came out.  I thought it seemed unnecessary to me.  There was none of that stuff. 

The Lord will always warn us, but now that it is here do we heed the warning or do we get sucked into Satan’s subtle lures to change the primary song, wear pants to church, or go to Priesthood meeting.  So many people feel like they need a cause. 

How are we going to fortify our family against it?  It is up to us to defend the home and family.  I want to teach you how.

Class member:  When I was a youth we had an activity that taught this same thing.  They put us out in a field and blind folded us.  They took my best friend and scattered.  They blind folded me and I had to follow this one person and my best friend had to tempt me to go with her (like Satan). 

We are focused on what the Lord wants us to do.  Then we turn to how are we going to teach it.  What are we going to teach it and how are we going to teach it.  Both of those things are good, but he goes on to say….

We teach this not as a to-do list, but as the gospel that illuminates their lives.  We hang up teaching from the negative point of view….”We don’t believe in homosexuality, divorce….” They all become rules and they can be swayed by a peer group to just try it out.  As they become more and more desensitized they get led down that path.  Don’t teach it as a series of rules.  Teach the Lord’s way as a pathway to exaltation. 

We need to teach “The Doctrine of the Family”.  If you remember in your seminary days there are 3 pillars of the gospel of Jesus Christ…Creation, Fall, Atonement.  Everything else rests on that. 

(1st pillar) Creation.  Why as this earth created?  For us to have a body, to be put in a family, to have joy.  The first family was Adam and Eve.  The first marriage was set by example as a man and a woman as an eternal marriage was in the Garden of Eden.  We were untied in heaven with a Father and Mother.  We came to earth as spirit sons and daughters of our father.  We come to earth.  The purpose of the earth was to be united in eternal marriage. 

(2nd pillar) At the fall…Adam and Eve were given a choice.  Don’t partake of the fruit if you want to remain in the state you are in the garden.  If you partake then you will experience death and you will experience joy and sorrow and you will be cast out.  You will also have increase.  It wasn’t a matter of sinning.  It was a matter of choice.  It was agency.  In order to have a choice you have to have 2 oppositions.  As they were cast out they were given the blessing to have children.  The purpose for this world’s creation to have families, have children, have them eternally. 

(3rd pillar) Atonement…allowed families to be sealed for eternity as families.  The reason for getting married as families in the temple is because that is the eternal plan of our family in heaven.  If they come to a point where they have a testimony of that these things are not a temptation because the truth is founded in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  Family is not part of the gospel.  It IS the gospel.  It is the whole purpose in being here on earth. 

Satan cannot have a body or a family.  Satan is alive and well and he wants to destroy this principle.  Will some of your children be led astray?  Probably.  Most of us don’t get through this life unscathed.  Our heart will be wrenched out of us as Satan lays hold on some of them that we love.  Does that mean we give in?  Does that mean that because I don’t want to hurt your feelings I will give in?  That means I will love you regardless.  Hopefully my love can give you enough strength to grow and see the truth. 

The Lord’s plan will never change.  It was tested in Sodom & Gomorrah, Noah, Dark Ages…his plan is sure when it comes to family.  It will not change. Our responsibility is to teach the doctrine on the family. 

I suggest you read and study in depth the Proclamation.  How often have we taught those principles with exactness.  They need to know this is the doctrine of salvation.  This is the plan of salvation.  This is the gospel

Class member:  I was home sick and my 6 year old.  The Spirit woke me up and I heard my son say, “Did you know that some kids have 2 mom’s?”  We would each have our own poster, highlighted and marked.  This was inspiration for our family.  We are not to teach the other ways.  We are to teach the doctrine.  They were talking had he said our family has 3 Mom’s.  Mom, her Mom, and Dad’s Mom.  Count the couples by 2’s. 

The intention is that we need to teach the 3 pillars of the gospel.  We need to teach it as doctrine.  In that there is testimony.  In that the Spirit confirms.  Focus on teaching true doctrine. 

She emphasizes FHE.  “A letter was sent out that Monday nights were for FHE….other interruptions should not get in the way.  We should use the time on Sunday to teach our children.  But Monday nights are reserved for FHE and we should be proactive in defending that time.  Why shouldn’t we want Monday in addition to Sunday….’the establishment of FHE the sounding of an alarm to all parents to prepare and strengthen them again the challenges we now face.”

I challenge you take upon yourself the challenge to memorize the Proclamation.  If you do that your life will never be the same.  You will see things more clearly in relationship to the family.  You will invite the Spirit to testify to you ways to teach your family this doctrine in your own personal family.  You never will be the same.  It will change you eternally if you memorize the Proclamation. 

We would like to be able to force our children to accept and live and want this doctrine.

This is vital doctrine.  We need to teach it in our home now.  We can only love them into heaven.  Love them into knowing and understanding and gaining a testimony that this is the plan of salvation.  This is why he came to earth.  So we could have families forever.