It’s slightly intimidating to come in here…
1. You are mostly women
2. My mother has shared too much about me.
I love to teach morality, but I’ve had a hard time preparing this lesson. I’ll get into why later. My Mom has a stack of resources. I’ve gone through some of those. I’ve taken some and then picked my own kinds of things. You may not get what you’ve bargained for. We are so grateful she is coming home!
Open your heart and open your mind to the Spirit. The Spirit will tell you what to do with your kids faster than Brother Tanner can.
1. You are mostly women
2. My mother has shared too much about me.
I love to teach morality, but I’ve had a hard time preparing this lesson. I’ll get into why later. My Mom has a stack of resources. I’ve gone through some of those. I’ve taken some and then picked my own kinds of things. You may not get what you’ve bargained for. We are so grateful she is coming home!
Open your heart and open your mind to the Spirit. The Spirit will tell you what to do with your kids faster than Brother Tanner can.
“In a “wheat and tares” world, how unusually blessed faithful members are to have the precious and constant gift of the Holy Ghost with reminders of what is right and of the covenants we have made. “For behold, … the Holy Ghost … will show unto you all things what ye should do.” (2 Ne. 32:5.) Whatever the decibels of decadence, these need not overwhelm the still, small voice! Some of the best sermons we will ever hear will be thus prompted from the pulpit of memory—to an audience of one!” Neal A Maxwell “Behold the Enemy Is Combined” April 1993
The Doctrine of Morality
What matters to God? Follow this scripture chain....
Genesis 1:26-28
26 ¶And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: He created man and woman. His crowning creation.
Answer: He created man and woman. His crowning creation.
Moses 3:23-24, 5:2
23 And Adam said: This I know now is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of man.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.
Moses 5:2 And Adam knew his wife, and she bare unto him sons and daughters, and they began to multiply and to replenish the earth.
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: They are being obedient. They are doing what they are created to do. In a small sense they were bringing down the powers of God to create a body. That is an important power. Cleave unto his wife and multiply. Use this power. It makes us more like our Heavenly Father.
We get so excited about the juicy about “What do you do? What do you tell your kids?” This doctrine changes behavior more than preaching to your kids rules. You must know this. You have to know it!
Answer: They are being obedient. They are doing what they are created to do. In a small sense they were bringing down the powers of God to create a body. That is an important power. Cleave unto his wife and multiply. Use this power. It makes us more like our Heavenly Father.
We get so excited about the juicy about “What do you do? What do you tell your kids?” This doctrine changes behavior more than preaching to your kids rules. You must know this. You have to know it!
D&C 131: 1-4
1 In theacelestial glory there are three heavens or degrees;
2 And in order to obtain the highest, a man must enter into this order of the priesthood [meaning the new and everlasting covenant of marriage];
3 And if he does not, he cannot obtain it.
4 He may enter into the other, but that is the end of his kingdom; he cannot have an increase.
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: Celestial marriage is of the utmost importance. Celestial marriage is the only way to obtain all blessings, because that is what our Heavenly Father has. He has a celestial marriage.
Answer: Celestial marriage is of the utmost importance. Celestial marriage is the only way to obtain all blessings, because that is what our Heavenly Father has. He has a celestial marriage.
Psalms 127:3
3 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Do you feel like that all the time? That they are a reward.
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: Children. This is what is important to him.
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: Children. This is what is important to him.
1 Nephi 7:1
1 And now I would that ye might know, that after my father, Lehi, had made an end of prophesying concerning his seed, it came to pass that the Lord spake unto him again, saying that it was not meet for him, Lehi, that he should take his family into the wilderness alone; but that his sons should take daughters to wife, that they might raise up seed unto the Lord in the land of promise.
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: Raise them up unto the Lord.
Answer: Raise them up unto the Lord.
Galatians 5:16-25
16 This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
18 But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under theblaw.
19 Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness,
20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies,
21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.
24 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.
The Spirit and lust do not co-mingle. That is important as we go on.
Lasciviousness is past feeling.
Lust: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness (Selfishness)
Spirit: love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith (Real love and real joy)
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: Walk in the Spirit
You haven’t done anything sitting in class. Until you walk out the door and act, do, be then you are doing something. Right now you are just sitting. If you have questions…ask!
Lasciviousness is past feeling.
Lust: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness (Selfishness)
Spirit: love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith (Real love and real joy)
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: Walk in the Spirit
You haven’t done anything sitting in class. Until you walk out the door and act, do, be then you are doing something. Right now you are just sitting. If you have questions…ask!
1 Timothy 4:12
12 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: Being an example of purity.
Think about yourself and your youth. Are they examples of purity? Are you an example to other kids to what purity is?
Each one of these scriptures could be a family home evening.
Answer: Being an example of purity.
Think about yourself and your youth. Are they examples of purity? Are you an example to other kids to what purity is?
Each one of these scriptures could be a family home evening.
James 1:27
27 Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.
Keeping yourself unspotted from the world. It’s the spots that we are unaware of, push aside because it’s uncomfortable. What are the spots of the world based on morality? What are some spots you see at middle school? You don’t know. Ask them what they see. You can counsel them against it.
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: Keep yourself unspotted from the world
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: Keep yourself unspotted from the world
Jacob 2:28
28 For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts.
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: The Lord delights in Chastity.
What is chastity? Chastity that the Lord delights in. Chastity that we set as a standard for ourselves vs. the Lord could be different things.
Answer: The Lord delights in Chastity.
What is chastity? Chastity that the Lord delights in. Chastity that we set as a standard for ourselves vs. the Lord could be different things.
Boyd K. Packer “Counsel to Youth” October 2011
“Dress modestly; talk reverently; listen to uplifting music. Avoid all immorality and personally degrading practices. Take hold of your life and order yourself to be valiant. Because we depend so much on you, you will be remarkably blessed. You are never far from the sight of your loving Heavenly Father.”
In teaching this class it is an 80% push to help you be better and 20% help your children be better.
“In all that you do, stay focused on the temple. In the temple you will receive the greatest of all the Lord’s blessings, including marriage for time and all eternity.” For Strength of Youth
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: Temple marriage
Answer: Temple marriage
Quentin L. Cook. “Can Ye Feel So Now?” October 2012
“Spiritual maturity must flourish in our homes.”
Are we spiritually mature? What do you struggle with? If you are not…why not? If you are lacking what are you lacking?
Class member: Tried to go to temple more often. Across the board it’s made a difference in my life. I wish I had gone more often when I was younger. I have a son getting ready to go on a mission. Things are going better for him in getting ready. Prayers are more fervent.
In the church we speak too much in generalities. We need to speak more in specifics.
Class member: A lot of times kids are taught that they want to be married in the temple, but then they don’t realize that what they are doing and who they are dating is getting them further away from the temple. Second thing…as we get to the words we use. We need to remember that definitions of the same words we use now are different now than it was. A make-out session for us was different.
A few years ago I had a niece that lived with us. She struggled with this. If you are out with a kid we joke did you make out with him. For us that was just kissing. Her definition was dry humping and hands up the shirt. Their definitions are completely different.
The doctrine is where it is at! I could shake everyone of you and say you must teach this.
Class member: Tried to go to temple more often. Across the board it’s made a difference in my life. I wish I had gone more often when I was younger. I have a son getting ready to go on a mission. Things are going better for him in getting ready. Prayers are more fervent.
In the church we speak too much in generalities. We need to speak more in specifics.
Class member: A lot of times kids are taught that they want to be married in the temple, but then they don’t realize that what they are doing and who they are dating is getting them further away from the temple. Second thing…as we get to the words we use. We need to remember that definitions of the same words we use now are different now than it was. A make-out session for us was different.
A few years ago I had a niece that lived with us. She struggled with this. If you are out with a kid we joke did you make out with him. For us that was just kissing. Her definition was dry humping and hands up the shirt. Their definitions are completely different.
The doctrine is where it is at! I could shake everyone of you and say you must teach this.
“All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” Proclamation to the World
The world would have you feel uncomfortable with that statement. You need to research it until you completely understand what that means.
“In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.” Proclamation to the World
Question: What matters to God?
Answer: Eternal families
“The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.” Proclamation to the World
Do you have a testimony of that? Do your kids know your testimony of that? Make your kids listen
“We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.” Proclamation to the World
If you ponder that for a moment you would weep at the sadness we bring upon ourselves
Ezra T.Benson (1st General Conference) 1985 “Cleansing the Inner Vessel”
“The plaguing sin of this generation is sexual immorality. This, the Prophet Joseph said, would be the source of more temptations, more buffetings, and more difficulties for the elders of Israel than any other. (See Journal of Discourses, 8:55.)
President Joseph F. Smith said that sexual impurity would be one of the three dangers that would threaten the Church within—and so it does. (See Gospel Doctrine, pp. 312–13.) It permeates our society.”
This doctrine that I have just finished teaching (begun really)….are you teaching it in your home?
How frequently are you teaching this doctrine?
When was the last time you taught it?
Class member: I think teaching moments happen often if you turn the TV off because you don’t agree with what is on it. You can just say, “That’s not appropriate.”
Class member: I think early this week my daughters were with me at the grocery store. My daughter 9 year old turns around and says, “Is that Miley Cyrus?” There was this picture of someone on the cover of the magazine. My daughter said, “That is so immodest. I just don’t think I’m going to like her anymore.”
We make that progress as we make those connections.
This last week my wife had bought some things online, they didn’t fit. We had to go to the store to exchange it. We went to the mall. On the way in a lesbian couple walks in front of us. There are store fronts that are pornographic. We both just said, “I don’t want to ever come here again.” Is this extreme?!?….I’m not going to go into a porn shop and if the mall is teaching that to our kids then I don’t want to be there.
Class member: Take TV out of your life for 1 month and then turn it back on. You will be re-sensitized. Those things will be too much.
We watched movies for awhile. Then we put it away and pulled it back out and then decided they were really disappointed with what they saw. She said I had a yard sale and sold the TV. We never watched it. You can get used to not having Satan in your living room.
Class member: I have 2 extremely difficult thoughts or feelings that come to me in regards to this. My 2 older boys, I found it very important that I teach them to focus on who they are and live above other standards. I keep thinking that there will be a day that they will be accused of something they haven’t done. This is before they are even teenagers. I don’t want them to be accused of something if a girl gets mad at them and her Dad presses charges. We regularly have lessons on the creation and they are good. Then he created man and he said they are VERY good. We have to keep that safe. My other big concern but I have a 5 year old who shows some signs of questioning if he was supposed to be born a boy. What do I do about that? If I can kneel in my prayers and Heavenly Father gives me peace to do all I can to help him than I cling to that. I have to trust that the Lord will make up the difference.
It illustrates the importance of having the Spirit with us at all times. You are wondering what would I do if that happened with me? What I have told you so far is to study and learn the doctrine. You will be guided.
Class member: Get your thongs when they went out of the boat. They would laugh because they are “flip-flops”. Heavenly Father is sending “softer/sensitive” men because it’s the last days. My kids talk about dating someone not a member of the church. Dad is a seminary teacher and 16 year old daughter dating a non-member. His approach was let’s see what kind of young man he is. Let’s take him to church and see what his reaction is. When you see magazines she says, “It’s sad that she doesn’t even realize she is a daughter of God.”
How frequently are you teaching this doctrine?
When was the last time you taught it?
Class member: I think teaching moments happen often if you turn the TV off because you don’t agree with what is on it. You can just say, “That’s not appropriate.”
Class member: I think early this week my daughters were with me at the grocery store. My daughter 9 year old turns around and says, “Is that Miley Cyrus?” There was this picture of someone on the cover of the magazine. My daughter said, “That is so immodest. I just don’t think I’m going to like her anymore.”
We make that progress as we make those connections.
This last week my wife had bought some things online, they didn’t fit. We had to go to the store to exchange it. We went to the mall. On the way in a lesbian couple walks in front of us. There are store fronts that are pornographic. We both just said, “I don’t want to ever come here again.” Is this extreme?!?….I’m not going to go into a porn shop and if the mall is teaching that to our kids then I don’t want to be there.
Class member: Take TV out of your life for 1 month and then turn it back on. You will be re-sensitized. Those things will be too much.
We watched movies for awhile. Then we put it away and pulled it back out and then decided they were really disappointed with what they saw. She said I had a yard sale and sold the TV. We never watched it. You can get used to not having Satan in your living room.
Class member: I have 2 extremely difficult thoughts or feelings that come to me in regards to this. My 2 older boys, I found it very important that I teach them to focus on who they are and live above other standards. I keep thinking that there will be a day that they will be accused of something they haven’t done. This is before they are even teenagers. I don’t want them to be accused of something if a girl gets mad at them and her Dad presses charges. We regularly have lessons on the creation and they are good. Then he created man and he said they are VERY good. We have to keep that safe. My other big concern but I have a 5 year old who shows some signs of questioning if he was supposed to be born a boy. What do I do about that? If I can kneel in my prayers and Heavenly Father gives me peace to do all I can to help him than I cling to that. I have to trust that the Lord will make up the difference.
It illustrates the importance of having the Spirit with us at all times. You are wondering what would I do if that happened with me? What I have told you so far is to study and learn the doctrine. You will be guided.
Class member: Get your thongs when they went out of the boat. They would laugh because they are “flip-flops”. Heavenly Father is sending “softer/sensitive” men because it’s the last days. My kids talk about dating someone not a member of the church. Dad is a seminary teacher and 16 year old daughter dating a non-member. His approach was let’s see what kind of young man he is. Let’s take him to church and see what his reaction is. When you see magazines she says, “It’s sad that she doesn’t even realize she is a daughter of God.”
Satan's Progress
These were Headlines in the news yesterday (2-27-13)…
If you were Satan what would you do? You would attack those things that matter most.—Celestial marriage
Satan is doing his busy work.
CDC Trend Study reported August 2012
Girls 15-19—had vaginal intercourse 48% more than that had oral sex.
By age 20-24 85% of girls and boys had vaginal intercourse or oral sex.
Our youth say “oral sex” ok because it is not “going all the way”. That is a lie!
It goes back to being general and being direct.
Satan is giving them 1000 hits a day and they are only getting 2 per year from us. Satan is screaming at them. There is a tidal wave of sin that is being poured upon these people. At a certain stage they will stop listening to you.
Class member: I have 18 year old. He moved in with his Dad at 17 and Dad doesn’t go to church. We drilled morality into our children’s head. Now he is living with an LDS girl in his home. I looked at him point blank and said, “We do not shack up before we get married?” Where is the line of agency?
Cory: At 18 it’s on his side.
When I was on my mission and calling everyone to repentance, my oldest sister had a baby out of wedlock. She called and told me about it. I was the one that hadn’t been judgmental I had been open to her. I was in missionary mode and let her have it. I said all sorts of things. She was crying and this was over. I had 8 months to think about that. It was the biggest mistake I made was that she needs love. That is the only thing that will help her at this stage.
An 18 year old is on their own making those choices. Try to share testimony in the spirit of love as you can. That’s why starting so early is vital to your success.
- Mom hired strippers for teen party
- Pimps hit Social networks to recruit teen sex workers
- Transgendered girls fight school
- Police: bikini Baristas too Bare
- Kim Kardashian talks babies before marriage--When we hear this we think marriage is just a contract that’s not right. We minimize the value of marriage as an institution. Marriage is what God intended it to be.
- College “Sugar babies” date for cash—legal prostitution. They give them perks and benefits.
- Teen pregnancy problem in rural us
- Miss Delaware Teen USA resigns in midst of porn site scandal
- Fraternity Pays for Brother’s sex change.
If you were Satan what would you do? You would attack those things that matter most.—Celestial marriage
Satan is doing his busy work.
CDC Trend Study reported August 2012
Girls 15-19—had vaginal intercourse 48% more than that had oral sex.
By age 20-24 85% of girls and boys had vaginal intercourse or oral sex.
Our youth say “oral sex” ok because it is not “going all the way”. That is a lie!
It goes back to being general and being direct.
Satan is giving them 1000 hits a day and they are only getting 2 per year from us. Satan is screaming at them. There is a tidal wave of sin that is being poured upon these people. At a certain stage they will stop listening to you.
Class member: I have 18 year old. He moved in with his Dad at 17 and Dad doesn’t go to church. We drilled morality into our children’s head. Now he is living with an LDS girl in his home. I looked at him point blank and said, “We do not shack up before we get married?” Where is the line of agency?
Cory: At 18 it’s on his side.
When I was on my mission and calling everyone to repentance, my oldest sister had a baby out of wedlock. She called and told me about it. I was the one that hadn’t been judgmental I had been open to her. I was in missionary mode and let her have it. I said all sorts of things. She was crying and this was over. I had 8 months to think about that. It was the biggest mistake I made was that she needs love. That is the only thing that will help her at this stage.
An 18 year old is on their own making those choices. Try to share testimony in the spirit of love as you can. That’s why starting so early is vital to your success.
How Do We Fight It?
You must fight it. Do not feel because you sat for 2 hours feel like you have done some good to society, but you have not yet, by just listening in class.
Establish a Pattern Early
Very selective about movies, 1 per week, if that. No TV outside. Sometimes that’s “Cars”. We don’t have a lot of movies. I don’t want him indoctrinated by someone else. I know you think, “What do you do during the day for babysitting?” I’m sharing with you some of my experiences. Some of you have 6 kids and it is like a tornado in your home. We have a 1 5 year old. Our circumstance is different. Do in your setting what the Holy Ghost prompts you.
Modesty- cannot run around naked after his bath. You body is sacred. It’s not threatening.
We teach him how to take care of his body.
We teach him the creation and Adam and Eve. We can’t wait until you are married and we can have 42 grandkids. He says he is going to live next door to us. We would be thrilled.
We teach him about marriage. It is not ok for bys to marry boys or girls to marry girls.
Animals are a great way to teach procreation. Our chickens lay an egg every day. We haven’t talked to him about that being like a woman having her period…only every day not once a month. We can’t have chicks because we don’t have a male and female.
Class member: Dogs and cats don’t have babies together. It makes sense. You teach to them on the level they are at.
Teach at a level they are at. When they are ready for more let them ask you questions. We talk about “The talk”. I don’t think there should be a “talk”, it should be an ongoing conversation.
Entertainment & Media
You have to lead by example.
Establish a Pattern Early
Very selective about movies, 1 per week, if that. No TV outside. Sometimes that’s “Cars”. We don’t have a lot of movies. I don’t want him indoctrinated by someone else. I know you think, “What do you do during the day for babysitting?” I’m sharing with you some of my experiences. Some of you have 6 kids and it is like a tornado in your home. We have a 1 5 year old. Our circumstance is different. Do in your setting what the Holy Ghost prompts you.
Modesty- cannot run around naked after his bath. You body is sacred. It’s not threatening.
We teach him how to take care of his body.
We teach him the creation and Adam and Eve. We can’t wait until you are married and we can have 42 grandkids. He says he is going to live next door to us. We would be thrilled.
We teach him about marriage. It is not ok for bys to marry boys or girls to marry girls.
Animals are a great way to teach procreation. Our chickens lay an egg every day. We haven’t talked to him about that being like a woman having her period…only every day not once a month. We can’t have chicks because we don’t have a male and female.
Class member: Dogs and cats don’t have babies together. It makes sense. You teach to them on the level they are at.
Teach at a level they are at. When they are ready for more let them ask you questions. We talk about “The talk”. I don’t think there should be a “talk”, it should be an ongoing conversation.
Entertainment & Media
You have to lead by example.
“Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way!” For Strength of Youth
You adults are not doing it.
I was a seminary teacher when Breaking Dawn was coming out. I read that statement about viewing anything pornographic in any way in seminary. Then I pulled up the “Breaking Dawn” rating…
I was a seminary teacher when Breaking Dawn was coming out. I read that statement about viewing anything pornographic in any way in seminary. Then I pulled up the “Breaking Dawn” rating…
“Rated PG-13 for disturbing images, violence, sexuality/partial nudity and some thematic elements”
Does that sound like pornography is some way? There are other things you can do as a parent. When you read for more information it says this....
Sex and nudity— Bella and Edward have sex a few times. First time is in the ocean when they are skinny dipping. No nudity is seen although their naked bodies are viewed from the side.
They also have sex in bed a few times. Edward's chest is visible and Bella's breast is always seen with the occasional nipple seen.
Characters kiss throughout the film a lot.
A wedding is at the start. Bella wears a dress which reveals her bare back. She kisses Edward for a decent amount of time.
Dances where characters are swung around genitals and breasts nothing too serious
Bella removes her dressing gown to reveal her breast (no nipple seen) and her bare shoulders”
I’m imaging a Relief Society Mom taking her daughter to see this as a “bonding” activity. This is why 80% of my sermon is to you and not your children. We have to have a deeper testimony of what this is all about. This wave of sin influences how you feel. Does it make any sense to take my daughter to that?
IMDB.com (Internet Movie Data Base)—Go to family ratings.
Common Sense Media— http://www.commonsensemedia.org/
These are tools. Use them! This is the problem though…each of us is on our own spiritual progression. You have to get yourself there and teach your kids. You won’t be perfect.
Our problem is that we justify. It’s not showing people full on having sex in bed. We are adults and put it in its place. We do that with TV shows. Changes need to happen. You have to raise your own standard of morality!
Movies – do your homework! Ratings, commentary, etc. Don’t listen to the hype!!!
Class member: I got into all that before the movies. My kids were little, but now they are growing up. Now I don’t want to take them. They grown up and they remember and now they want to watch the movies. I feel hypocritical. You can say I realize I made a mistake.
You have to draw your own personal line. For a period of time you have chosen to give that up. You have to decide that is no ok. The sooner you do the better. You can be a better influence.
Be authentic in our conversion! We all have changes that we need to make.
Music is just as dangerous. (FTSOU—For the strength of youth)
We have a roadshow in our ward tomorrow. The youth submitted the lyrics and it has the “f” word 3 times. Is it the clean version or the explicit one?
IMDB.com (Internet Movie Data Base)—Go to family ratings.
Common Sense Media— http://www.commonsensemedia.org/
These are tools. Use them! This is the problem though…each of us is on our own spiritual progression. You have to get yourself there and teach your kids. You won’t be perfect.
Our problem is that we justify. It’s not showing people full on having sex in bed. We are adults and put it in its place. We do that with TV shows. Changes need to happen. You have to raise your own standard of morality!
Movies – do your homework! Ratings, commentary, etc. Don’t listen to the hype!!!
Class member: I got into all that before the movies. My kids were little, but now they are growing up. Now I don’t want to take them. They grown up and they remember and now they want to watch the movies. I feel hypocritical. You can say I realize I made a mistake.
You have to draw your own personal line. For a period of time you have chosen to give that up. You have to decide that is no ok. The sooner you do the better. You can be a better influence.
Be authentic in our conversion! We all have changes that we need to make.
Music is just as dangerous. (FTSOU—For the strength of youth)
We have a roadshow in our ward tomorrow. The youth submitted the lyrics and it has the “f” word 3 times. Is it the clean version or the explicit one?
“Songs depicting men as "sex-driven studs," women as sex objects and with explicit references to sex acts are more likely to trigger early sexual behavior than those where sexual references are more veiled and relationships appear more committed, the study found. Teens who said they listened to lots of music with degrading sexual messages were almost twice as likely to start having intercourse or other sexual activities within the following two years as were teens who listened to little or no sexually degrading music. “Sexy music triggers teen sex (Study)----This is calculated. A certain percentage that listen to this song will have sex.
We become dictator parents that say, “No you can’t.” We don’t help them find things that are worth our time and attention.
13th Article of Faith….we seek after those things.
Sister said…conversation with 12 year old very innocent. He is reading Harry Potter. He comes up to her one day (he really is innocent) do you know how they say sometimes your bottom gets hard? She thinks to herself remain calm. I know that’s true, because it happened to me when I was reading Harry Potter.
We need to be careful. It doesn’t matter what it is.
Dating
Make them do it!—Sister makes him go on a date once a month. These days it’s all about hanging out and you never get to a point to dating. She has a rule in her family. You cannot do anything co-ed until you are 16. Today we hang out. We don’t date.
Difference between going on a group date or hanging out. There is NO difference. They are just going out with their friends. Think about what it is that they are really doing.
Class member: There was me and a friend and 2 boys and I was oblivious until he said, “I’ll pay for your food.”
It’s not a privilege when you turn 16.
No steady dating
Group activity or group date? Consider if they are the same thing.
No marathon dates! 8 in the morning until 11pm. You get too comfortable with them. At 11pm you are too tired, your guard is down. You are not on your game. You are weaker.
Class member: One of the things my husband is great about is talking to teenagers about it. “I love him.” It’s supposed to be that way. The more time you spend together the more physical you get. It’s designed by Heavenly Father. However, the timing is not right. It doesn’t matter who you are and how old you are. The more time you spend together the more physical it will get. When you are married that’s what helps bring you together and strengthens your marriage. It’s wrong because of the timing. It is natural and normal.
We have to be comfortable not to demonize these feelings.
He has the hots for this girl. I can’t be with her anymore. It’s just an ache. I can’t be with her anymore. “Can you imagine if you did steady date this girl why it would be hard to keep your hands off her?”
Son or daughter with boyfriend or girlfriend. Should any of your kids be a boyfriend or a girlfriend….according to the prophet. I’m a letter of the law kind of person, but the spirit of the law takes your much further. The Spirit of the law takes you to a higher standard. Let’s not compare ourselves to other LDS folks. Let’s be as responsible as we can. We cannot get suckered into that.
TV shows…Modern Family, Homosexual couples that portray it as normal. There is a gay couple, but they are so funny.
13th Article of Faith….we seek after those things.
Sister said…conversation with 12 year old very innocent. He is reading Harry Potter. He comes up to her one day (he really is innocent) do you know how they say sometimes your bottom gets hard? She thinks to herself remain calm. I know that’s true, because it happened to me when I was reading Harry Potter.
We need to be careful. It doesn’t matter what it is.
Dating
Make them do it!—Sister makes him go on a date once a month. These days it’s all about hanging out and you never get to a point to dating. She has a rule in her family. You cannot do anything co-ed until you are 16. Today we hang out. We don’t date.
Difference between going on a group date or hanging out. There is NO difference. They are just going out with their friends. Think about what it is that they are really doing.
Class member: There was me and a friend and 2 boys and I was oblivious until he said, “I’ll pay for your food.”
It’s not a privilege when you turn 16.
No steady dating
Group activity or group date? Consider if they are the same thing.
No marathon dates! 8 in the morning until 11pm. You get too comfortable with them. At 11pm you are too tired, your guard is down. You are not on your game. You are weaker.
Class member: One of the things my husband is great about is talking to teenagers about it. “I love him.” It’s supposed to be that way. The more time you spend together the more physical you get. It’s designed by Heavenly Father. However, the timing is not right. It doesn’t matter who you are and how old you are. The more time you spend together the more physical it will get. When you are married that’s what helps bring you together and strengthens your marriage. It’s wrong because of the timing. It is natural and normal.
We have to be comfortable not to demonize these feelings.
He has the hots for this girl. I can’t be with her anymore. It’s just an ache. I can’t be with her anymore. “Can you imagine if you did steady date this girl why it would be hard to keep your hands off her?”
Son or daughter with boyfriend or girlfriend. Should any of your kids be a boyfriend or a girlfriend….according to the prophet. I’m a letter of the law kind of person, but the spirit of the law takes your much further. The Spirit of the law takes you to a higher standard. Let’s not compare ourselves to other LDS folks. Let’s be as responsible as we can. We cannot get suckered into that.
TV shows…Modern Family, Homosexual couples that portray it as normal. There is a gay couple, but they are so funny.
“Satan uses media to deceive you by making what is wrong and evil look normal, humorous, or exciting.” For the Strength of Youth
That is a play right out of the book. We are fooled by this. You have to step up your game.
Make sure you can feel the Spirit.
Observance of the “W’s”---Who are you with, Where are you going, When will you leaving/return, What will you be doing.
Class member: My Mom was kind of sneaky about it. You don’t want to be stuck to one person. You want to date and have fun. It seemed more fun to do it like that. I didn’t look for a steady boyfriend. I didn’t feel like I “had” to do that.
Sometimes that works and sometimes you have that ache and if you can’t be with her you will scream into your pillow.
Question: You said no co-ed…does that include stake dances and youth activities?
Answer: Stake dances are ok, ice cream afterwards or movie or dinner before those are not ok. We get lost in some of the details. It’s making all these rules. What is happening with this group and getting too comfortable. It shouldn’t be taking them away from their family.
Class member: These are all practices too. We have to listen to the spirit. What works for one may not work for another. Our practice is they can’t go out more than one night of the weekend. With each child…one will fight it and the other will be fine. It is individual.
You are parents of your kids for a reason!
Class member: I have a little boy…the youngest of 4, 3 older sisters. Little girls love this little boy. He came home one day and said Mom I have a girlfriend. It was just so cute. It was fun to watch. I said we don’t date until we are 16. I know but girls get mad when they break up with them. He told the girl he couldn’t date until 16. The girl said I just forgot.
It opens the door for additional conversations. You do yourself so many favors by setting your own standards of morality and chastity. You don’t have to fight as much.
Dress and Appearance
You must Lead!!!
Any clothing that is tight, sheer or revealing
Take kids shopping. Help them find what they can wear as opposed to only telling them what they cannot wear.
Think about “where: you are shopping.
Seminary student who always wore the tightest clothes and low cut. I wanted to just call her out. I wanted to call her out and tell her he didn’t want to see them. I wanted to embarrass them.
Class member: Anyone that walked into seminary that was immodest got the bathrobe to wear over their clothes.
My sister has sweaters she makes young women wear if they are immodest. She trains her boys to not dance with them without wearing the sweater.
The value you give them is so much greater than one “great” night.
Class member: Bishop asked if he was having problems with pornography. It’s hard when you are walking down the halls of your school and it’s just there. You don’t have to go to a bar to see it.
The problem I had with preparing for this class is that I get so worked up about it. I went to find the most juicy stuff. I realized that I was focusing on Satan and what he is doing. I felt and absence of the Spirit. I decided I have to change what I am preparing. Then I started digging into the doctrine of morality. The Spirit came back. I felt very strongly that fire and desire to teach it and to share it.
Class member: I have a 15 year old boy. He loves to compare our family to other families. He was going to a birthday party with his friends. Then I started asking the questions because there were girls going. I really hesitate. If you get there and there is a girl you call me. There was one that showed up 5 minutes after the movie started. He won’t be doing things with those friends anymore. She is going to have to follow my rules.
My sister is like the warden, more than my mother was. They can’t do things like other kids do. People in our city get to know my sister’s standards. They rented the pool for a party. The Mom called and said I know your rule no co-ed. We want to invite your family. She said fat chance.
Class member: My Mom did the right thing. That shirt isn’t quite right. If you are ready to give that shirt up I will take you to buy something new. It needs to be their choice.
Encourage them to use their agency early enough.
Our Heavenly Father knows the choices we will make. Be careful about the agency you give them.
Class member: When I was talking to my husband, when girls wear T-shirt you can see in the sleeve or down the neckline if it is too loose. Girls usually dress for other girls not for the guys. Teenage girls dress for girls.
You must educate your daughters because we (men) have one track minds.
Physical Touch
Kissing—casual appreciation vs. arousal
Would you be kissing someone if you don’t go on occasional dates. At a certain point you shouldn’t even be dealing with it.
Talk about French Kissing.
Sex education for your children will happen! Either you will be the teacher or Satan will be, but it will happen. I promise you! Come to me in 10 years. Tell me your kid never received it.
The key in anything is “arousal”! There are lines we have to draw, but we have to talk about arousal. Those are those feelings that are powerful, sacred, important, and kept within the bounds the Lord has set. We should not be toying with things that should cause us to have those feelings.
Petting-There are games at school…run hand across shoulder and down the front and if they don’t flinch they get a jelly bracelet. Our kids need to know that. When it’s presented in a fun way they are drawn into something wrong.
You should not be touching anyone else.
No one should be touching you.
Backrubs and hand massage—We think it’s just a casual thing. You don’t need to be touching them. If he needs his shoulders massaged he will go see someone. You don’t need to be touching him or her there. Can touching your hand arouse you? Yes…like you won’t believe. We draw standards.
Laying next to each other—Levi loving and dry humping. You go through the sex act, but you are not naked. They are then performing oral sex and they don’t think it’s bad.
My sister when her kids hit a certain age they go to a hotel and they have girl stuff and paint nails, go to movie, then have “the talk”.
Dance too closely—shouldn’t happen
Masturbation—the world teaches that this is ok. This is a way to relieve your sexual anxiety. This is not ok.
Body hugs—Hug with leg around them. Full body contact. That is not ok.
Class member: “Growing up-Gospel answers about masturbation and sex” Deseret Book ---Great resource!!!
Establish early on…interviews with your kids. They know and expect it. You can talk openly and in a safe way.
I have a family member that wants to be open and honest with them. She’s teaching them medical terms for body parts. Trying to be comfortable with it, but it teaches them disrespect for body parts.
5 year old we talk about front bottom and back bottom. Eventually we will talk to them about some of those things. It is…this is what it’s called, but we don’t use that terminology. It’s because it’s crass. If you are in a medical office ok, but if you are at school using “vagina” it’s disrespectful.
Class member: “The Miracle of Forgiveness” Spencer W Kimball—If you have boys read that on Masturbation.
Sleep overs—No way!
Limit excessive communications on the phone, email, chat rooms, text. If they are “married” on the phone they are dating.
Never go into a bedroom with the opposite sex.
Refrain from vulgar language.
This is an important work we are doing. This requires your attention. This requires your discipline. You are a hormonal person as well. You have these same desires. Control them. Control yourself. That will be the best gift you can give your children. Do not give up. They are being screamed at every single day in multiple ways…that immoratily, homosexuality is ok. That marriage is bad. Having sex is a past time. Touching other where we shouldn’t is ok. You MUST TEACH THEM!!!
Make sure you can feel the Spirit.
Observance of the “W’s”---Who are you with, Where are you going, When will you leaving/return, What will you be doing.
Class member: My Mom was kind of sneaky about it. You don’t want to be stuck to one person. You want to date and have fun. It seemed more fun to do it like that. I didn’t look for a steady boyfriend. I didn’t feel like I “had” to do that.
Sometimes that works and sometimes you have that ache and if you can’t be with her you will scream into your pillow.
Question: You said no co-ed…does that include stake dances and youth activities?
Answer: Stake dances are ok, ice cream afterwards or movie or dinner before those are not ok. We get lost in some of the details. It’s making all these rules. What is happening with this group and getting too comfortable. It shouldn’t be taking them away from their family.
Class member: These are all practices too. We have to listen to the spirit. What works for one may not work for another. Our practice is they can’t go out more than one night of the weekend. With each child…one will fight it and the other will be fine. It is individual.
You are parents of your kids for a reason!
Class member: I have a little boy…the youngest of 4, 3 older sisters. Little girls love this little boy. He came home one day and said Mom I have a girlfriend. It was just so cute. It was fun to watch. I said we don’t date until we are 16. I know but girls get mad when they break up with them. He told the girl he couldn’t date until 16. The girl said I just forgot.
It opens the door for additional conversations. You do yourself so many favors by setting your own standards of morality and chastity. You don’t have to fight as much.
Dress and Appearance
You must Lead!!!
Any clothing that is tight, sheer or revealing
Take kids shopping. Help them find what they can wear as opposed to only telling them what they cannot wear.
Think about “where: you are shopping.
Seminary student who always wore the tightest clothes and low cut. I wanted to just call her out. I wanted to call her out and tell her he didn’t want to see them. I wanted to embarrass them.
Class member: Anyone that walked into seminary that was immodest got the bathrobe to wear over their clothes.
My sister has sweaters she makes young women wear if they are immodest. She trains her boys to not dance with them without wearing the sweater.
The value you give them is so much greater than one “great” night.
Class member: Bishop asked if he was having problems with pornography. It’s hard when you are walking down the halls of your school and it’s just there. You don’t have to go to a bar to see it.
The problem I had with preparing for this class is that I get so worked up about it. I went to find the most juicy stuff. I realized that I was focusing on Satan and what he is doing. I felt and absence of the Spirit. I decided I have to change what I am preparing. Then I started digging into the doctrine of morality. The Spirit came back. I felt very strongly that fire and desire to teach it and to share it.
Class member: I have a 15 year old boy. He loves to compare our family to other families. He was going to a birthday party with his friends. Then I started asking the questions because there were girls going. I really hesitate. If you get there and there is a girl you call me. There was one that showed up 5 minutes after the movie started. He won’t be doing things with those friends anymore. She is going to have to follow my rules.
My sister is like the warden, more than my mother was. They can’t do things like other kids do. People in our city get to know my sister’s standards. They rented the pool for a party. The Mom called and said I know your rule no co-ed. We want to invite your family. She said fat chance.
Class member: My Mom did the right thing. That shirt isn’t quite right. If you are ready to give that shirt up I will take you to buy something new. It needs to be their choice.
Encourage them to use their agency early enough.
Our Heavenly Father knows the choices we will make. Be careful about the agency you give them.
Class member: When I was talking to my husband, when girls wear T-shirt you can see in the sleeve or down the neckline if it is too loose. Girls usually dress for other girls not for the guys. Teenage girls dress for girls.
You must educate your daughters because we (men) have one track minds.
Physical Touch
Kissing—casual appreciation vs. arousal
Would you be kissing someone if you don’t go on occasional dates. At a certain point you shouldn’t even be dealing with it.
Talk about French Kissing.
Sex education for your children will happen! Either you will be the teacher or Satan will be, but it will happen. I promise you! Come to me in 10 years. Tell me your kid never received it.
The key in anything is “arousal”! There are lines we have to draw, but we have to talk about arousal. Those are those feelings that are powerful, sacred, important, and kept within the bounds the Lord has set. We should not be toying with things that should cause us to have those feelings.
Petting-There are games at school…run hand across shoulder and down the front and if they don’t flinch they get a jelly bracelet. Our kids need to know that. When it’s presented in a fun way they are drawn into something wrong.
You should not be touching anyone else.
No one should be touching you.
Backrubs and hand massage—We think it’s just a casual thing. You don’t need to be touching them. If he needs his shoulders massaged he will go see someone. You don’t need to be touching him or her there. Can touching your hand arouse you? Yes…like you won’t believe. We draw standards.
Laying next to each other—Levi loving and dry humping. You go through the sex act, but you are not naked. They are then performing oral sex and they don’t think it’s bad.
My sister when her kids hit a certain age they go to a hotel and they have girl stuff and paint nails, go to movie, then have “the talk”.
Dance too closely—shouldn’t happen
Masturbation—the world teaches that this is ok. This is a way to relieve your sexual anxiety. This is not ok.
Body hugs—Hug with leg around them. Full body contact. That is not ok.
Class member: “Growing up-Gospel answers about masturbation and sex” Deseret Book ---Great resource!!!
Establish early on…interviews with your kids. They know and expect it. You can talk openly and in a safe way.
I have a family member that wants to be open and honest with them. She’s teaching them medical terms for body parts. Trying to be comfortable with it, but it teaches them disrespect for body parts.
5 year old we talk about front bottom and back bottom. Eventually we will talk to them about some of those things. It is…this is what it’s called, but we don’t use that terminology. It’s because it’s crass. If you are in a medical office ok, but if you are at school using “vagina” it’s disrespectful.
Class member: “The Miracle of Forgiveness” Spencer W Kimball—If you have boys read that on Masturbation.
Sleep overs—No way!
Limit excessive communications on the phone, email, chat rooms, text. If they are “married” on the phone they are dating.
Never go into a bedroom with the opposite sex.
Refrain from vulgar language.
This is an important work we are doing. This requires your attention. This requires your discipline. You are a hormonal person as well. You have these same desires. Control them. Control yourself. That will be the best gift you can give your children. Do not give up. They are being screamed at every single day in multiple ways…that immoratily, homosexuality is ok. That marriage is bad. Having sex is a past time. Touching other where we shouldn’t is ok. You MUST TEACH THEM!!!
“Like Nephi, we may not always know the meaning of things happening to us or around us. Nevertheless, like Nephi, we can still know that God loves us! (See 1 Ne. 11:17.)
Yes, “the enemy is combined,” but when we are combined with the Lord’s “chariots of fire,” then “they that be with us are more than they that be with them”! Neal A Maxwell “Behold, The Enemy Is Combined” April 1993
In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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