Follow up: 4 Table Legs
Who found their table a little out of whack? What did you see? What did you think about?
Class member: We are lacking in all of them. Our table is very short. I was gung ho on all of it. I talked to my husband and he was saying it’s not going to work. You are going to give up in a week. I was surprised at how much it took the wind out of my sails. After the first couple of days I decided it didn’t matter what he said we are going to do it. We went and got scriptures and journals for everyone. There is no holding me back. I’m not giving him that power.
How are the children reacting?
Class member: They all wanted to pick their own journals and scriptures. They are so excited. They love it. What surprised me was that after a few days my husband is coming around to “I’ll do it with them.”
Class member: So many amazing things happened in our house last week. We went and got scriptures for my 4 year old my 7 year old had hers. I asked her if the 4 year old would like to get up and mark scriptures. I haven’t had to play referee for a week. My husband was on board. We have been doing couples prayers. The blessings pouring out have been unbelievable. I am teaching in RS on “Keeping your Covenants” and everything we talked about in here applies. Everything we are learning about here goes in everywhere in my life. It’s true. We struggled with the 4 legs and we have a really short table. Our table is getting taller. On my ponder pad I put on our RS Facebook page to see if anyone wanted to trade mornings babysitting so we can go to the temple. We will set up 2 days a month so whoever wants to can get to the temple once a month.
I hope that enthusiasm keeps up. It’s what the Lord says.
Class member: I just kept thinking it doesn’t matter what we have on our table if our table isn’t stable. I would think ‘it’s kind of hectic’. This is offering stability to the legs. It was the good, better, best. I was going to the legs first and then everything else will matter more.
Class member: You said one thing that was an answer to prayers. My 10 year old hates church because he has to sit for 3 hours and he wants to do sports. All your problems will go away. I thought it’s not him that’s doing it wrong. It’s us that aren’t doing what we need for him. My husband has been out of town all week. It’s been all on me. We have been saying prayers 2x a day and reading scriptures.
Tracy’s kids would be active in church. She instigated what was Sunday Superstars. They had treats for Sunday. If you were good you got the treats and if you weren’t you didn’t get it. She would say, “Are you a superstar?”
Class member: I just felt like we were pushing it on him.
You have to make it so they want it
Class member: I had a 1 legged table. We do ‘fun’ great. Praying 25x a day we just don’t. Scriptures just didn’t work. I didn’t do amazing like everyone else did. I went and go scriptures. My 4 year old has ripped them. So wat least we opened them. We are starting to get nubs. I can tell we are trying.
What we are doing now is changing percentages. I don’t expect anyone that had a 1 legged table to have a solid 4 leg table.
Class member: I was telling my friend that this class is therapy. Sometimes as mothers we think everyone has it all together. I love the honesty and no judgment in here. It makes me feel better.
I would be that most of us have tea size party tables. All of us can improve. We can all move forward. You can be more real here. That’s what makes it helpful. I don’t have it yet and I have been teaching it forever.
Class member: The temple is what I needed to work on. My baby is eating solids now. She can stay for long enough for us to be here in class the temple is not that much longer. The Lord opens up a way when you have the desire. “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you.” His hand is there.
If you ask and look at one of them and say I believe that principle, but I have all these other things…early morning seminary, kindergartener, preschooler. The mindset is I’m going to the Lord with I can’t do this and here is why. Instead go with “I’ve got a preschooler, early morning seminary, how do I make this work?” Then you are inviting revelation. He can’t help you do something that you don’t have a desire for. How you approach it opens or closes the door to revelation.
Class member: Whether it’s a quest or an irritant can apply to anything. You look forward. You are ready for action. When it is an irritant you have closed yourself off. You aren’t even trying. I’m starting to look at everything as a quest or an irritant.
Class member: Family scripture was non-existent. I’m getting a preschooler up or husband was not able to participate. I had to do it in 2 separate shifts. It has been amazing. In our home that’s how it has to work. My teenagers won’t leave until they have scripture study. Now they love it. I can individualize…high schoolers vs. young kids. I’ve been able to incorporate “Come Follow Me”.
You go with the attitude to help it work.
Class member: She has a senior FHE and a junior FHE in their homes.
Have the teenager teach it to the younger one. Then after the 1st half hour the little ones can go play, but take it on another level. These are just practices. How you do it is the practice.
Class member: You used exactness last week. I think ‘perfection’ and it’s not. It’s how does this work for my family.
This is seeking with exactness in ‘desire’. Our goal is not perfection right now. It’s perfection over time. We want to see to obey the commandments with exactness for us. We are trying all the time.
Class member: President Uchtdorf talked about perfection and when we fall it makes us feel like we can’t go again because I wasn’t perfect and I don’t try again. If we have the mindset that we are going to fall we can get back up again easier. I can keep trying.
That’s where the exactness comes in.
I have to go back 2 weeks…QUESTIONS: How are you doing with your questions? I gave you questions to rewrite. Did you rewrite them?
Who is Abinidi? A prophet, the guy that died in the fire.
How do you rewrite the question so you can get them into the topic?
In the discussion you will find out that someone doesn’t know about. Have them tell the story.
What does it mean to repent? Say you’re sorry.
How do you rewrite that question?
What you have to do as a parent? What you have to do is listen for their answer. In their answer formulate your question.
How did that make you feel?
Ok
Tell me about it. What’s going on inside his feelings?
It could have been his fault, but when you said sorry how did you feel inside?
I felt good. You did? What do you think it was?
You are trying to get them to teach themselves to teach the principle. If you do the talking they don’t care. If you get them to say it you are getting the Holy Ghost to testify to them.
Class member: I have a child that would just say, ‘fine…good’.
There are personalities that are very closed. Some of you would not contribute because it’s not your personality. You are more comfortable sitting back. Some of our kids are like that too. Those kinds of children are the ones that you need to ‘touch’ them, but do a soft gentle touch. When I talk to you I am going to have a gentle touch to you. That’s all. You have to watch those children because sometimes they have soft moments. If they are in their reading you take cookies and milk up there. What are you reading? What are you studying? How is your teacher? You are opening up a relationship. As that relationship becomes safer they will talk to you not in front of the family, but in one-on-one.
Class member: How did you manage it all?
When I had 9 under 9 it is crazy. It’s hits about when the 3rd child comes. You are already in it 100% of the time. Once you hit 3 it really doesn’t even matter. This is the principle. It is true. If you have 5 children can you do it with all of them all the time everytime something happens? No. But they all need it some of the time. If you always keep your children in the same boat…herd the sheep into dinner and into the bathtub. Instead of that mentality of getting them fed, clothed, corrected. It’s magnified glorified babysitting. Instead…stop and look at them individually.
Who found their table a little out of whack? What did you see? What did you think about?
Class member: We are lacking in all of them. Our table is very short. I was gung ho on all of it. I talked to my husband and he was saying it’s not going to work. You are going to give up in a week. I was surprised at how much it took the wind out of my sails. After the first couple of days I decided it didn’t matter what he said we are going to do it. We went and got scriptures and journals for everyone. There is no holding me back. I’m not giving him that power.
How are the children reacting?
Class member: They all wanted to pick their own journals and scriptures. They are so excited. They love it. What surprised me was that after a few days my husband is coming around to “I’ll do it with them.”
Class member: So many amazing things happened in our house last week. We went and got scriptures for my 4 year old my 7 year old had hers. I asked her if the 4 year old would like to get up and mark scriptures. I haven’t had to play referee for a week. My husband was on board. We have been doing couples prayers. The blessings pouring out have been unbelievable. I am teaching in RS on “Keeping your Covenants” and everything we talked about in here applies. Everything we are learning about here goes in everywhere in my life. It’s true. We struggled with the 4 legs and we have a really short table. Our table is getting taller. On my ponder pad I put on our RS Facebook page to see if anyone wanted to trade mornings babysitting so we can go to the temple. We will set up 2 days a month so whoever wants to can get to the temple once a month.
I hope that enthusiasm keeps up. It’s what the Lord says.
Class member: I just kept thinking it doesn’t matter what we have on our table if our table isn’t stable. I would think ‘it’s kind of hectic’. This is offering stability to the legs. It was the good, better, best. I was going to the legs first and then everything else will matter more.
Class member: You said one thing that was an answer to prayers. My 10 year old hates church because he has to sit for 3 hours and he wants to do sports. All your problems will go away. I thought it’s not him that’s doing it wrong. It’s us that aren’t doing what we need for him. My husband has been out of town all week. It’s been all on me. We have been saying prayers 2x a day and reading scriptures.
Tracy’s kids would be active in church. She instigated what was Sunday Superstars. They had treats for Sunday. If you were good you got the treats and if you weren’t you didn’t get it. She would say, “Are you a superstar?”
Class member: I just felt like we were pushing it on him.
You have to make it so they want it
Class member: I had a 1 legged table. We do ‘fun’ great. Praying 25x a day we just don’t. Scriptures just didn’t work. I didn’t do amazing like everyone else did. I went and go scriptures. My 4 year old has ripped them. So wat least we opened them. We are starting to get nubs. I can tell we are trying.
What we are doing now is changing percentages. I don’t expect anyone that had a 1 legged table to have a solid 4 leg table.
Class member: I was telling my friend that this class is therapy. Sometimes as mothers we think everyone has it all together. I love the honesty and no judgment in here. It makes me feel better.
I would be that most of us have tea size party tables. All of us can improve. We can all move forward. You can be more real here. That’s what makes it helpful. I don’t have it yet and I have been teaching it forever.
Class member: The temple is what I needed to work on. My baby is eating solids now. She can stay for long enough for us to be here in class the temple is not that much longer. The Lord opens up a way when you have the desire. “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you.” His hand is there.
If you ask and look at one of them and say I believe that principle, but I have all these other things…early morning seminary, kindergartener, preschooler. The mindset is I’m going to the Lord with I can’t do this and here is why. Instead go with “I’ve got a preschooler, early morning seminary, how do I make this work?” Then you are inviting revelation. He can’t help you do something that you don’t have a desire for. How you approach it opens or closes the door to revelation.
Class member: Whether it’s a quest or an irritant can apply to anything. You look forward. You are ready for action. When it is an irritant you have closed yourself off. You aren’t even trying. I’m starting to look at everything as a quest or an irritant.
Class member: Family scripture was non-existent. I’m getting a preschooler up or husband was not able to participate. I had to do it in 2 separate shifts. It has been amazing. In our home that’s how it has to work. My teenagers won’t leave until they have scripture study. Now they love it. I can individualize…high schoolers vs. young kids. I’ve been able to incorporate “Come Follow Me”.
You go with the attitude to help it work.
Class member: She has a senior FHE and a junior FHE in their homes.
Have the teenager teach it to the younger one. Then after the 1st half hour the little ones can go play, but take it on another level. These are just practices. How you do it is the practice.
Class member: You used exactness last week. I think ‘perfection’ and it’s not. It’s how does this work for my family.
This is seeking with exactness in ‘desire’. Our goal is not perfection right now. It’s perfection over time. We want to see to obey the commandments with exactness for us. We are trying all the time.
Class member: President Uchtdorf talked about perfection and when we fall it makes us feel like we can’t go again because I wasn’t perfect and I don’t try again. If we have the mindset that we are going to fall we can get back up again easier. I can keep trying.
That’s where the exactness comes in.
I have to go back 2 weeks…QUESTIONS: How are you doing with your questions? I gave you questions to rewrite. Did you rewrite them?
Who is Abinidi? A prophet, the guy that died in the fire.
How do you rewrite the question so you can get them into the topic?
- If you had heard Abinidi what would have caught your attention?
- How has your testimony been strengthened by learning about Abinidi?
In the discussion you will find out that someone doesn’t know about. Have them tell the story.
What does it mean to repent? Say you’re sorry.
How do you rewrite that question?
- How has repentance blessed your life?
- How do you know if you have truly repented?
- Why is it important to repent? In your own self the answers could be endless.
What you have to do as a parent? What you have to do is listen for their answer. In their answer formulate your question.
How did that make you feel?
Ok
Tell me about it. What’s going on inside his feelings?
It could have been his fault, but when you said sorry how did you feel inside?
I felt good. You did? What do you think it was?
You are trying to get them to teach themselves to teach the principle. If you do the talking they don’t care. If you get them to say it you are getting the Holy Ghost to testify to them.
Class member: I have a child that would just say, ‘fine…good’.
There are personalities that are very closed. Some of you would not contribute because it’s not your personality. You are more comfortable sitting back. Some of our kids are like that too. Those kinds of children are the ones that you need to ‘touch’ them, but do a soft gentle touch. When I talk to you I am going to have a gentle touch to you. That’s all. You have to watch those children because sometimes they have soft moments. If they are in their reading you take cookies and milk up there. What are you reading? What are you studying? How is your teacher? You are opening up a relationship. As that relationship becomes safer they will talk to you not in front of the family, but in one-on-one.
Class member: How did you manage it all?
When I had 9 under 9 it is crazy. It’s hits about when the 3rd child comes. You are already in it 100% of the time. Once you hit 3 it really doesn’t even matter. This is the principle. It is true. If you have 5 children can you do it with all of them all the time everytime something happens? No. But they all need it some of the time. If you always keep your children in the same boat…herd the sheep into dinner and into the bathtub. Instead of that mentality of getting them fed, clothed, corrected. It’s magnified glorified babysitting. Instead…stop and look at them individually.
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