Class member: I’ve always known my husband was a white. I had him do the test. Some of his answers kind of surprised me. He talked about being shy and timid. I thought back to when we were dating and I did realize he was like that. I took the test so he understood me better. It was good for both of us to take that in and see where we come from.
It’s a misconception to think that a white can’t be a dynamic leader. It’s because they have learned attributes of another color. The goal is that then you focus on learning those other behaviors.
Class member: 2 years ago I remember thinking I have no idea what my husband is. He read through them and said I think I’m all of them except blue. Last week I thought he was a red. I had him read through it and I think he is. My oldest (8yrold boy) is a red and I am a blue. I feel like I just need to explain the color to him. I want him to understand that he is different than his blue brother.
The goal is to become a rainbow. I think we have one core color, but in different situations you may be a different color. I think this is a tool for understanding and learning a way to teach your children. It’s not to pigeon hole them to keep them in their color. I think it’s the guide to help you know how to individualize your teaching.
Blues & Reds want to control their children. Blues control because they want to make their children righteous. Reds control because they are right, they know what to do themselves.
It’s a tool to help them understand and nurture their individual children.
Class member: If I took this when I was a college student I would have been a full yellow. This time I had very little yellow. How do I bring back the yellow and bring it into parenting?
Both reds and blues have very strong personalities. A Reds need is power. A Blues need is intimacy. When you look at something like this…you teach him to be kind and her to be assertive. A 13 yr old white girl doesn’t have to obey her 11 yr old brother.
Class member: I have a red son. I am a red. We have a real fun time. This weekend my husband and I were a couple houses away and put this 11 yr old boy in charge. He gets bossy and mean. We said, “You are in charge, but you aren’t bossy. You need to help your sisters do things without commanding them.” It was the cutest thing ever. He got them to do their chores and get ready for bed. He did it without getting mean. I could watch the videos of him trying to do it correctly.
Your Red doesn’t know how to have power in a kind way without you showing them how to do it. They have to see a picture of it. If we don’t teach it they don’t know it. That was fabulous. I hope you really validated them. See where their weakness is and train them and encourage them. Then give them lots of opportunities to fail.