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Follow up: Creating a House of Order

9/27/2016

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​Class member:  I put a paper on the wall and the kids got to write on the wall what their family was like and how they got there.
 
Class member:  We did our family motto last night for FHE.  My 7 year old was really cute.  I had them write down what the “best version of their family could be”.  I talked to them about ‘let’s shake hell’ and they thought it was funny.  The older ones thought that was cool.  They have 4 older boys.
 
When you break it down to ‘what does it look like’ and ‘how do we get there’. 
 
Class member:  I was in here last year and we got all excited.  Then I’m not crafty.  I went to a craft store and they did the letters, but I was going to have to do the rest.  I printed it out so I could have a copy. 
 
Have a FHE about something in your missionary statement.  You need to teach to it so it becomes your family.  It needs to be hung and referred to, but then you have to actually incorporate it into daily living.
 
Class member:  We created a family song. 
 
This takes awhile to settle in.  The sooner you do it the sooner your family starts having a vision and feeling like they bond together.  It makes them start feeling closer knit. 
 
Class member:  I don’t feel like my family knows who we are and that we are headed in the same direction.  Even though we are trying I’m worried that if I sit down and say let’s make a mission statement.  I don’t know that my family would come up with that when we sat down together.  I don’t want them to question who we are.  I don’t want it to be anti-climatic.  I fear it will highlight where we lack.
 
There are people in the room who have an active or inactive spouse who parent different.  What’s the purpose of the mission statement?  To bring us together.  We sometimes have unreal expectations.  What you want to do is create a vision for your family.  It may not say temple marriage or missions.  If you can get your family to bind to your family it will help. 
 
Class member:  I thought it might be best if we took it in little steps.  What are some adjectives that describe our family?  What do we like to do?  (Verbs).  We are taking it step by step.  Then we will create goals.
 
Class member:  I think these are really good ideas.  I have such little kids that I never said anything about a temple marriage. 
 
A 4-yr old has a hard time visualizing temple marriage, but he can understand being kind and sharing.  When the time is right the Spirit will testify and help you move forward with it. 
 
Class member:  I have kids from 22 to 11.  We are so set in habits is it too late?
 
Most of the habits you are set in are good habits, but they aren’t visual habits.  Most of us are visual learners.  We like to read and see the proclamation and the scriptures.  It is critical with kids your age for them to have input.  The other thing that is critical is that you are setting a precedent in your families now so when they have their own families they can do that in theirs.
 
Class member:  Your younger children will have a different experience rather than the older kids. 
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    Carleen Tanner

    Notes from classes and other information will be posted here.  Also you can order syllabus and CDs from the store or check out the "Traditions" that class members have shared.  You can also ask a Parenting and/or Marriage Question.

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