Class member: We actually had FHE for the 2nd time in a row without my husband. We did the 4 steps to saying I’m sorry. I wrote it out on cardstock. We went through the steps. I have a 8 year old boy and 12 year old girl. They thought it was super fun. My son he actually had a chip on his shoulder because my daughter did something to him. He has been so bugged by it. Then this one came up. My daughter went through the steps with the magnetic darts. I visibly saw him let go. As we walked away my son smacks my daughter in the behind really hard. He takes 4 steps back and went through all 4 steps. He knew instantly what he needed to do. They had a lot of fun with it!
If you can present it in a way that’s really fun. Something will come up where it’s not fun, but you have already diffused it.
Class member: I did the I’m sorry thing. You had talked about leaving the backpack and shoes as soon as they come in. I told her she would practice the night before. She is 7. She threw such a huge fit I made her do it twice. Yesterday she dropped her backpack and I had her go back out and practice. She did it without a fit.
I like that you told her before hand. If you stay at level zero that is such a great tool.
Class member: This week I had a lot of inspiration this week. There are some issues in my marriage that we have been constantly bickering about for 20 years ago. I realized that the root of the problem is that I haven’t been understood by him. I went and prayed about it and thanked him for the revelation. I asked him if there was more. I wrote it down. For the next few days I just thought about it and thought about it. I realized it applied in my parenting as well. I have a hard time being at level zero. I realized that’s because I don’t feel understood in my home ever. I tried to apply that to my parenting. I thought I’m not feeling understood right now, maybe they aren’t feeling understood either. I have been 80% more calm this week. This was an amazing break through.
That is awesome! I’ve had my payday.
Class member: After we had the class where we talked about when the prophet speaks we need to listen. A man that was talking on BYU Devotional he said, “When the prophet speaks the debate is over.”
It’s interesting how the prophet speaks we believe it, but in my circumstance I justify why it won’t work for me. We aren’t saying the prophet isn’t true we are just making valid exceptions for our circumstance. If you do that you are also saying “I don’t want the blessings.”
Class member: We have had a lot of fun doing the Dating Academy. I said that I would be in charge of FHE. It’s been fun to see them get excited about “Planning a Date”. It was fun to see them report back on the date with the budget. I decided they would each get to plan a date to do over Spring Break that we would do as a family. I said they could work in pairs. I told them they could work together and compromising. Also this week I’ve done the backpack thing a hundred times. I assigned some of those things that I don’t follow up on (like hanging up backpacks) to one of my kids. I’ve asked him what we could do to help them practice. He came up with the idea of putting a treat as a reward in their lunches if their things have been picked up.
Take apart parenting examples and apply it to me, here, and now. Just because it doesn’t involve your specifics in your family there are things to learn from it. The idea of planning ideas for Spring Break…what ideas can you pull out of that?
Class member: I like how she was letting them have responsibility and taking a leadership role in following through and making sure things got done.
Look at the principles you want to teach kids. You want them to learn to budget. You want them to have good ideas. This is where learning takes place. They are involved and in charge and creating and doing. This is “Come Follow Me”. Realize the principles you are teaching. Those principles are being taught in a happy good way.
Class member: Sometimes I forget to involve my kids. It really is hard for kids to pull away from whatever they are doing. I said to my daughter it’s time to do something. I can see you are having fun how much longer do you think you need for your game? I said do you want me to set a timer or come get you.
You are acknowledging them and their feelings. They are in control a little.
Class member: I went to Japan and visited a classroom. Every two weeks there are children sent down to pick up the lunches and serve them. They are also in charge of having to clean the bathroom. They realize what the people are going through. She is teaching her child what she goes through. Everyone is supporting each other.
Class member: My first reaction is to lecture. I remember you saying emotion and talk too much. I ignored her bad behavior and it worked out. You don’t get in the power struggle. If you refuse to fight they can’t fight with themselves.
You can teach through questions.
Class member: I appreciated you saying there doesn’t have to have a consequence. Understanding what discipline means helps.
A lot of times you just give them another opportunity to learn. Most of it comes from how we were raised. For a parent to say you made a mistake and say I hope you learned let’s try to do better next time. You don’t do that all the time, but it’s a good thing to do.
On the way over here we were on Lake Hazel to get on Ten Mile to get on the Freeway. There was a cow having a calf when we drove by.
If you get one thing in a semester that really makes your home different/better your time has been worthwhile.
Do you think 10 weeks is too long for a semester? Don’t shorten the semester.
Class member: I was just thinking about how much I enjoy the class. My Mom has cancer and everything she is going through. It is helping me stay strong. It is feeding me spiritually. To see her deteriorate is hard because I’ve always leaned on her. It’s helping me stand on my own. I know the day is coming that she won’t be here to hold me up.
I lost my Mom way too young. I wasn’t ready to let go. It’s a hard thing.