Class member: Whoever has the most stars will go out on a date with Dad tonight
Do you see that they aren’t doing what the ‘homework’ said, but being here invites the Spirit so you receive answers when you are here. Once you start inviting the Spirit you will start receiving answers. Bring back those ideas and share.
Class member: My oldest is 3. She has been potty trained and now having accidents the last 3 weeks. I tried to do the question and answer for her. Instead of say, “Did you…” I said, “I see you have…” All I’m getting is silly answers. Is she too young?
3 year olds can understand.
Class member: The more I talk to him about it the more he ‘doesn’t care about it’. He wanted the attention. I just say go take care of it. It has helped. He doesn’t do it as much.
Class member: Something similar happened with my daughter. WE went on a trip and she relapsed. Everything I read talked about just taking her back like when you potty trained her. My daughter was afraid to get on the toilet because of different toilets. After a couple of weeks it fixed it.
Class member: I hesitate because I started potty training at 3 and he is now 5. He got a star every day he had clean undies. It accumulated. He went to the zoo and the movies. He has had maybe one accident since November. Us being able to relax really helped.
Class member: I would forget to remind my girls. If they have that reminder they didn’t have as many accidents. I had to set a timer to remind me to remind them.
Every time I found out I was pregnant my first thought was ‘I have to potty train one more’. When my last one was born I tried to hire Tracy to potty train. It is my least favorite thing to do.
A relapse is not abnormal. Frequently they will have a relapse. Frequently the cause is going on a trip, high stress, sick. Their little world is out of whack and they don’t understand why. It is not unusual for it to happen. Don’t get too uptight about it. Just help them to know what to do. Be supportive. Don’t lecture. It’s an opportunity for you to learn patience.
Class member: I realized that I have ‘stopped caring’. I would say I really don’t care just go fix it yourself. It’s not fixing anything. Now what’s the next step. I started to do the whole ‘let’s figure this out’. I was really good for about 3 days. I said, “Come here let’s talk about it and figure it out.” I asked questions rather than gave answers. It’s already a little better, but I have gone back to the ‘not caring’.
The bottom line is changing percentages. If you care some of the time you win. We don’t have to go from having a weakness to being perfect. Just change percentages a little at a time. We cannot just will ourselves to wake up different. The ‘I don’t care’ is from feelings of helplessness. It just feels like it won’t work. It is a hopeless feeling that comes when you are trying to do what’s right. It doesn’t mean you are a good loving mother.
Class member: I found that with my parenting style I am a referee. I had to not care more so they had to figure it out more. My 5 year old likes that and my 3 year old doesn’t. About ½ the time he gives the toy back. I talked to my husband about 6 qualities. It was an interesting time to talk about it. It was nice to feel supported. We talked about how we don’t want them to shy away from hard work. I don’t want them to put forth hard work because it will be hard. Be deeply immersed in the gospel Be sensitive to the Spirit. Relax, let go, be silly, not take life so seriously. Seek out knowledge..video game or football, science. Find physically active things to do. Teaching one of them we talked about being more sentitive to the Spirit. My 5 year said the Holy Ghost speaks to me. He talks to me now and now and now….for about a minute. What do you think Heavenly Father would like you to do?
What you have to understand is that you have to train them in the wonderful things you want them to be. Figure out a way to train that.
Class member: I think sometimes I can be a really good coach, but this week was a referee week. It was not a great week. We had the missionaries coming over for dinner. I just couldn’t keep my eyes open. I said I need you to do a couple of these things. Can you pick up the living room? I went upstairs and climbed into bed and hear the vacuum. My kids had listened. It was not what I asked them to do.
FYI---Discipline next 2 weeks. We may throw in a different class that isn’t on the schedule. We will talk about why your children misbehave. We won’t fix any of the problems next week. I want you to be uncomfortable enough that you will look at what you do. So then you will come back ready to hear some tools to learn how to discipline and the purpose behind it.