Class member: We had a weird emergency. We had to clean up a rental where the renters had to be evicted. Took the 3 oldest kids with us to clean. We cleaned for 3 days. 1 day in I asked the kids ‘how is this making you feel about our house?” They said, “I don’t ever want to be in a house like this.” “Have you ever worked harder in your life to get something done?” My kids know that they can accomplish something big.
We need to give our kids experiences doing hard things.
Class member: I was trying to prep things for General Conference. I have lunch bags with treats. My 4 year old was so excited for Conference. My older son is having 30 band kids in my home having a General Conference party watching Conference and eating pizza.
Class member: I’ve really tried hard to help my kids recognize the spirit in different ways other than being somber. “Isn’t it fun while we are singing? Doesn’t it make you feel good?” My 6 year old really gets what the spirit is. My oldest daughter is drama and doesn’t like anything about spiritual matters. I think I did good. Also recognizing it for me too. I wasn’t taught to recognize it in different ways other than crying at the pulpit while bearing your testimony.
As parents we have to learn what the spirit feels like then we can teach them.
Class member: On Saturday after I prayed for more sensitivity I was at the store and I thought I need to buy these 5 items. I ignored it and that Sunday morning I was asked to feed the missionaries. Sometimes it’s just the little things. Yesterday I felt prompted to by a picture frame. I bought 20 of them. I was telling my friend about this and she was the YW president and she needed to buy them off her for Christmas gifts.
Class member: My son is 6 years old and he is in an older grade. He is struggling understanding the other kids. He came home and was saying inappropriate things on the bus. I thought about what we talked about. What was your heart telling you? I felt like it was wrong. That is the Spirit telling you it was wrong. You have to learn to trust the spirit. His Dad has a talk about respecting women. These kids were saying these things the next day. He got up and moved to another seat. He offered them gum so they would move away and not bother the girls.
What I want you to take from that is that if you listen to the spirit. We are so anxious to correct mis-behavior rather than trying to teach. Rather than correcting, punishing, yelling, to take the opportunity to teach. When we teach without the lecture series they become self governing. If he was just lectured he would feel guilty and feel bad. It escalates in a downward spiral. It’s very hard because you are taught by example of how you were raised that our responsibility as a good mother is to correct their mis-behavior. We feel like we need to make them feel worse so they will act better. That never happens. Discouragement and negative doesn’t encourage good.
Class member: I came here feeling bad because my son left for school yelling “I hate you!” What should I do?
Let’s talk about this for good. Number 1 I learned very early if they say they hate you, ‘Oh well!”
We need to give our kids experiences doing hard things.
Class member: I was trying to prep things for General Conference. I have lunch bags with treats. My 4 year old was so excited for Conference. My older son is having 30 band kids in my home having a General Conference party watching Conference and eating pizza.
Class member: I’ve really tried hard to help my kids recognize the spirit in different ways other than being somber. “Isn’t it fun while we are singing? Doesn’t it make you feel good?” My 6 year old really gets what the spirit is. My oldest daughter is drama and doesn’t like anything about spiritual matters. I think I did good. Also recognizing it for me too. I wasn’t taught to recognize it in different ways other than crying at the pulpit while bearing your testimony.
As parents we have to learn what the spirit feels like then we can teach them.
Class member: On Saturday after I prayed for more sensitivity I was at the store and I thought I need to buy these 5 items. I ignored it and that Sunday morning I was asked to feed the missionaries. Sometimes it’s just the little things. Yesterday I felt prompted to by a picture frame. I bought 20 of them. I was telling my friend about this and she was the YW president and she needed to buy them off her for Christmas gifts.
Class member: My son is 6 years old and he is in an older grade. He is struggling understanding the other kids. He came home and was saying inappropriate things on the bus. I thought about what we talked about. What was your heart telling you? I felt like it was wrong. That is the Spirit telling you it was wrong. You have to learn to trust the spirit. His Dad has a talk about respecting women. These kids were saying these things the next day. He got up and moved to another seat. He offered them gum so they would move away and not bother the girls.
What I want you to take from that is that if you listen to the spirit. We are so anxious to correct mis-behavior rather than trying to teach. Rather than correcting, punishing, yelling, to take the opportunity to teach. When we teach without the lecture series they become self governing. If he was just lectured he would feel guilty and feel bad. It escalates in a downward spiral. It’s very hard because you are taught by example of how you were raised that our responsibility as a good mother is to correct their mis-behavior. We feel like we need to make them feel worse so they will act better. That never happens. Discouragement and negative doesn’t encourage good.
Class member: I came here feeling bad because my son left for school yelling “I hate you!” What should I do?
Let’s talk about this for good. Number 1 I learned very early if they say they hate you, ‘Oh well!”
“Parenting is not a popularity contest.” Joe Christensen “Rearing Children in a Polluted Environment” November 1993 Ensign
We are there to raise them to a higher standard. We will talk about how to fill that. What you work on is to keep their emotional bank account full so when you discipline it doesn’t deplete them. Don’t beat yourself up. Give yourself a break. The fact that you wanted to do something. The fact that you didn’t do what was the very best isn’t bad. Don’t worry if he says he hates you. About taking the Ipod away…when we do discipline whatever we do needs to relate to the behavior…We have to find something that is related. We need to not punish them for not doing that
This is my box! This is what you and your children sometimes feel in your house. There is someone in the house. “Excuse me! Excuse me! Can you let me out of here?” Do you ever feel like that? Our kids feel like that sometimes. Heavenly Father has sent some strong spirits to us because he knew you could take care of them. We get into some fun challenging times.
I feel jealous of you. You are going to have an opportunity that you are going to have and I want it. You will have to share it with me. On November 7th (Thursday)…I am going to be out of town. Cory Tanner (my son) is going to teach. He said, “If I can teach whatever I want to.” Do you want to do ‘Work’ again? He said, “No I don’t want to teach that one.” He is going to teach you, “Teaching Children the Proper Use of Media & Technology”. He will have some great ideas for you. What are you going to skip? I may combine a couple of them so you get the cliff notes and don’t lose out on too much.
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