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Follow up: Work

11/9/2017

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​Class member:  There was a lot of thinking about family work project, but I feel like I failed this week.  My small success was that I let her help me fold laundry so I could teach her.  I need to relinquish some control. 
 
Class member:  We decided on raking leaves because we have a bunch of littles.  Last night we went and did our Bishop’s front yard.  Our 4 year old started crying because he didn’t want to do it.  We planned on doing 5 yards, but decided that we would just do 3. 
 
Class member:  The Meridian Temple grounds keeper is looking for help 8-5pm.  He can’t use a leaf blower. 
 
Class member:  We got a donation for bedding to outfit 15 beds.  We are doing this as a family and go organize the storage sheds.  It was a 4 hour ordeal.  My 15 yr old likes to stir up everyone and keep them going.   (Sleep in Heavenly Peace—non profit donation-bunkbeds)
 
Class member:  I have taken my daughter to the Humane society.  We use Justserve.org
 
Class member:  A few years ago we moved here from New Jersey right after Hurricane Sandy hit.  We sent out flyers and emails to everyone.  We called it ‘rake leaves for Sandy’.  My kids raked leaves and sent the money to Hurricane Sandy relief.
 
Class member:  I found a lot more than I expected with the scriptures.  I found more in the Old Testament than the Book of Mormon.  What are some of them…be reverent, keep the Sabbath day holy, lots of to-do’s. 
 
You read the scriptures differently when you are looking for something specific. 
 
Class member:  There was a suggestion in the Gratitude lesson about putting up white boards in their room and put up ‘why you love them’.  They have started leaving me little notes.  It’s changed the atmosphere in our house.  They look forward to it every day. 
 
Class member:  The gratitude doing it at dinner time is difficult so we have started doing it right before prayers.  Our prayers are not so repetitive.  The 8 year old is pausing to think and remember.
 
Class member:  I taught 2nd grade for many years.  Every November I would put up a tree and we put up leaves.  We printed leaves on the computer and we would post leaves on the wall.  My husband took the leaves with him to work.  The 6 year olds are excited about doing the leaves on the wall. 
 
One year I was babysitting in December.  I bought the little stockings at the Dollar Store and I hung one of each of their beds.  I put in a Hershey kiss and a note when I was babysitting. 
 
Class member:  I have been thinking a lot about work.  I say, “Thank you for helping me.”  I’m giving the impression that this is my job and they are helping at me.  I changed it to say, “Thank you for doing your jobs and helping our family.”
 
We need to teach our children to think outside the box and not expect the government to take care of you.
 
My daughter’s best friend’s husband lost his job.  Their daughters were in choir.  There was no money for choir dresses.  They had a family meeting and told the girls they can’t fund anything this year.  These girls got together and decided to run a summer daycamp for 2 weeks.  Every day they did a different holiday.  One day was Halloween, St. Patrick’s Day.  They dressed up and had treats.  They worked really hard.  They earned enough money. 
 
You try to teach them to fish, not give them the fish.  Teach them how to find the ideas. 
 
Class member:  I handed my husband the “Bill Gates” story when I was putting my littles to bed.  My husband laughed and said you need to have the 15 & 17 year old come down and read this.  My 17 yr old said, “These aren’t our family rules now are they?”  Sometimes we just have to nudge them in the right direction. 
 
We enable them as parents, but then we are sad because they won’t step up.
 
Class member:  “Never do something for your kids that they can do for themselves.”  This is a quote that my husband found and we live by this now. 
 
I am in 95% agreement.  My exception is that sometimes we get in a hole and can’t get out.  We need a hand sometimes to step in when they have reached the end of what they can do.  When they are so busy doing good things that they just can’t fit it in .  Teach them to do it so they can do it.  Then you pull out.  Then it’s their job.
 
Class member:  I have a child that is self-motivated.  He takes his dishes to the sink.  His dishes are put away.  He has a hard time cleaning up someone else’s stuff and he doesn’t have much patience for those that are less tidy?
 
Every family has this.  I have a son from the time he was little kept his room immaculate.  His garage is color coded.  That is just him.  It’s his personality.  He has some brothers who are not.  If he gets into a family where his wife is more sloppy than he is we help pick up.  We take care of the family.  We work together.  There are times when we work together to pick up the living room together.  You don’t pick it up and drop it somewhere else.  You pick it up and put it away.  It’s good in that situation to have some family working projects so everyone is working together so we ALL own the project.  That’s very typical.  The problem with that is those that work hard don’t want to do it for those that work slow.  Those that work slow you just won’t speed them up.  The key is to get all of them to work. 
 
Class member:  Sometimes the other one is slow on purpose so the other one will do the work?
 
If you present it as ‘when all the jobs are done the family will go swimming’, we are taking them out of competition.  The working child will work hard and help the slow child so they family can go together.  There are other times when we each have our part.  Those are when they earn their “hot button”.  When they complete it then they earn the reward.  No matter what they aren’t in competition with each other.  If your slow child never gets finished during the week then on the weekend they don’t get the privileges. 
 
Class member:  I think he would understand the “family” job or the “individual” jobs. 
 
I would teach that in FHE as a complete principle. 
 
Class member:  I taught my kids to pick up the things they are using before they get out something else. 
 
If the kids become responsible enough they pick up after themselves that is the goal.
 
Class member:  For awhile my daughter was really fighting us about picking up her toys because it was too much.  You have this amount of time to clean up to clean up. 
 
Our children lose investment if they have too much stuff. 
 
Class member:  I had a son that missed the school bus like 7 times in 2 weeks.  They have to pay to go to school or to get things they forgot from school.  They had to pay a taxi service.
 
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    Carleen Tanner

    Notes from classes and other information will be posted here.  Also you can order syllabus and CDs from the store or check out the "Traditions" that class members have shared.  You can also ask a Parenting and/or Marriage Question.

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