How did you like last week? What was your take away?
Class member: It gave me a different way to look at it. My husband and I were able to discuss that.
Class member: The lazy factor….our 12 year old girl has that. I told her that there would be no electronics and to find something else to do. An hour later she came downstairs and she brought a microscope down that she had gotten for Christmas. She hadn’t been interested in it. But, she finally got it to work and she did that all afternoon and the next day. It was just a redirect day.
It was using leisure time productively. They lose motivation for everything. Their electronics are what they talk about and do.
Class member: My husband is in nursing and just graduating and got home and we were talking about the difference between the baby boomers and the millennials. He was telling me that the millennials are just getting obese because of the sitting down all the time and fast food snacks.
We have reached this thing where we want to be friends with our kids. We want them to like us. We don’t want them to be mad at us. That’s like saying pay your tithing and all the rest of your money you can play with. We don’t get to do it why should our kids. We have got to toughen up and parent with a purpose.
Class member: I missed having you teach. I missed your stories. I feel like we relate more to you as a woman and a mother. It was hard for me to listen. Your stories catch me from a mother’s perspective.
I think it’s good for you to hear from other people too.
I am focused on telling you the process. He tells you generic and over all. I like to hear ‘how’ to make things happen. If I’m not supposed to be critical how do I teach the process.
1. You have to take yourself out of the picture as the critic, but you have to hold them accountable to the job.
2. You need to have a family meeting and introduce it there. Let them have input and let them help come up with consequences. They knew what was going to happen.
3. I would have in the bathroom in the cupboard door somewhere 2 lists. One list is the list you do on the weekday---the quick clean. This is daily after school. Then the other list is a deep clean. Then the list is a longer one. Let’s check this with the list. You are giving them the responsibility, but you are making them responsible to the list.
I would ask them if they were ready for me to go check the bathroom. Don’t buy into their problem. If your children are unhappy with you, then you are doing great.
When my girls would do conditioning at the beginning of sports they would come home in pain. They were growing and stretching and becoming better.
Class member: I have a son that is over scheduled and is dealing with a heavy load at school. How do I help him overcome his anxiety to do it?
You need to help him learn tools to deal with anxiety. Obviously extra work during those days is too much. On school days when he’s overwhelmed that’s not the time to put more on him. On Saturday he needs to have some hard jobs. He probably needs lots of encouragement and tools to be better and knowing that he doesn’t have to be perfect.
We have the problem when talking with our kids about giving them the answer and them just agreeing. Ask, “What kept you awake?” I was thinking about the test, my nose was stuffed up, I was cold. When he says that you have the opportunity to help him find the tools he needs.
Class member: One of the phrases was the easiest go to was, “Tell me about….” Then you are reflecting like a mirror and letting them see the situation.
Ask questions and get them involved. The more they talk the more they create their own answers. Don’t tell them how they feel. Sometimes when you ask the question they feel like there is an answer you are looking for. Use the statement…”Tell me about….” If you use ‘what’ or ‘why’ those are sometimes an attack question.
How have you changed over the semester?
Class member: I feel guilty a lot. I know the things you have taught, and I see how much I’m lacking.
Class member: You did tell us that it was overwhelming and that there was so much for us to do. You have to work on 1 or 2 things a little tiny bit.
If you yell, 100% of the time now and after this class you only yell 95% of the time you have changed percentages and you are doing better. You are fabulous! The purpose of the class is to give you a different vision. It’s more than correcting what they do wrong, providing a house, and feeding them. I want you to see parenting as the responsibility to teach them how to make it to the Celestial Kingdom. You aren’t going to get that perfect in 10 weeks. You won’t get it perfect by the time they leave your home, but you will be a while lot better if you are changing percentages along the way.
Class member: I believe the power of prayer so much. This class has elevated my prayers. There is power in that even if there is not power in me.
I just want to invite the Holy Ghost so he can teach you.
Class member: When you come back again you realize what you are doing right after this.
Class member: I testify of the ‘change percentages’. I used to be a yeller all the time and now I can’t even remember the last time I’ve yelled at her. It does take awhile and it is ok.
It took me 6 years from the time I learned these principles and felt like they were mine and I was doing them consistently.
Class member: It made me a more purposeful parent and spouse. Even when I’m in the minute I reflect and go back and find the answer. I don’t have to feel overwhelmed because there are more tools out there. I can keep seeing it differently and start doing it more purposefully. I feel good about my effort rather than my failure.
This class isn’t about parenting. I’m not sure why you entitle it that. This is about life skills and me. Parenting has to change with you.
Class member: I came back the 2nd week not intentionally doing the homework, but when I came back and realized that the Spirit had taught me. I left the temple feeling rejuvenated. There were a lot of things I didn’t realize I was changing, but the Spirit had taught me and I have been making changes.
Class member: It opened me up. I came here seeking help for a child. I decided I needed to just sit and listen and open up. It made me realize that Parenting should be fun. We can sit and have fun. We are teaching, but parenting is fun and they are going to be gone so soon. Will they think…my Mom is a fun Mom? Parenting isn’t always about accomplishing. There isn’t only one right way to do it. I don’t attack life so much I have some fun with my kids.
When I feel like it has helped someone then I want to come again. As you share, lives are being changed, then I want to keep going. That is what it’s all about. It’s about your family. That’s what counts. That’s what we take with us. As long as I feel like there are those who are finding new truths, way, faith, love for being a parent, then I will still be here.
Class member: It gave me a different way to look at it. My husband and I were able to discuss that.
Class member: The lazy factor….our 12 year old girl has that. I told her that there would be no electronics and to find something else to do. An hour later she came downstairs and she brought a microscope down that she had gotten for Christmas. She hadn’t been interested in it. But, she finally got it to work and she did that all afternoon and the next day. It was just a redirect day.
It was using leisure time productively. They lose motivation for everything. Their electronics are what they talk about and do.
Class member: My husband is in nursing and just graduating and got home and we were talking about the difference between the baby boomers and the millennials. He was telling me that the millennials are just getting obese because of the sitting down all the time and fast food snacks.
We have reached this thing where we want to be friends with our kids. We want them to like us. We don’t want them to be mad at us. That’s like saying pay your tithing and all the rest of your money you can play with. We don’t get to do it why should our kids. We have got to toughen up and parent with a purpose.
Class member: I missed having you teach. I missed your stories. I feel like we relate more to you as a woman and a mother. It was hard for me to listen. Your stories catch me from a mother’s perspective.
I think it’s good for you to hear from other people too.
I am focused on telling you the process. He tells you generic and over all. I like to hear ‘how’ to make things happen. If I’m not supposed to be critical how do I teach the process.
1. You have to take yourself out of the picture as the critic, but you have to hold them accountable to the job.
2. You need to have a family meeting and introduce it there. Let them have input and let them help come up with consequences. They knew what was going to happen.
3. I would have in the bathroom in the cupboard door somewhere 2 lists. One list is the list you do on the weekday---the quick clean. This is daily after school. Then the other list is a deep clean. Then the list is a longer one. Let’s check this with the list. You are giving them the responsibility, but you are making them responsible to the list.
I would ask them if they were ready for me to go check the bathroom. Don’t buy into their problem. If your children are unhappy with you, then you are doing great.
When my girls would do conditioning at the beginning of sports they would come home in pain. They were growing and stretching and becoming better.
Class member: I have a son that is over scheduled and is dealing with a heavy load at school. How do I help him overcome his anxiety to do it?
You need to help him learn tools to deal with anxiety. Obviously extra work during those days is too much. On school days when he’s overwhelmed that’s not the time to put more on him. On Saturday he needs to have some hard jobs. He probably needs lots of encouragement and tools to be better and knowing that he doesn’t have to be perfect.
We have the problem when talking with our kids about giving them the answer and them just agreeing. Ask, “What kept you awake?” I was thinking about the test, my nose was stuffed up, I was cold. When he says that you have the opportunity to help him find the tools he needs.
Class member: One of the phrases was the easiest go to was, “Tell me about….” Then you are reflecting like a mirror and letting them see the situation.
Ask questions and get them involved. The more they talk the more they create their own answers. Don’t tell them how they feel. Sometimes when you ask the question they feel like there is an answer you are looking for. Use the statement…”Tell me about….” If you use ‘what’ or ‘why’ those are sometimes an attack question.
How have you changed over the semester?
Class member: I feel guilty a lot. I know the things you have taught, and I see how much I’m lacking.
Class member: You did tell us that it was overwhelming and that there was so much for us to do. You have to work on 1 or 2 things a little tiny bit.
If you yell, 100% of the time now and after this class you only yell 95% of the time you have changed percentages and you are doing better. You are fabulous! The purpose of the class is to give you a different vision. It’s more than correcting what they do wrong, providing a house, and feeding them. I want you to see parenting as the responsibility to teach them how to make it to the Celestial Kingdom. You aren’t going to get that perfect in 10 weeks. You won’t get it perfect by the time they leave your home, but you will be a while lot better if you are changing percentages along the way.
Class member: I believe the power of prayer so much. This class has elevated my prayers. There is power in that even if there is not power in me.
I just want to invite the Holy Ghost so he can teach you.
Class member: When you come back again you realize what you are doing right after this.
Class member: I testify of the ‘change percentages’. I used to be a yeller all the time and now I can’t even remember the last time I’ve yelled at her. It does take awhile and it is ok.
It took me 6 years from the time I learned these principles and felt like they were mine and I was doing them consistently.
Class member: It made me a more purposeful parent and spouse. Even when I’m in the minute I reflect and go back and find the answer. I don’t have to feel overwhelmed because there are more tools out there. I can keep seeing it differently and start doing it more purposefully. I feel good about my effort rather than my failure.
This class isn’t about parenting. I’m not sure why you entitle it that. This is about life skills and me. Parenting has to change with you.
Class member: I came back the 2nd week not intentionally doing the homework, but when I came back and realized that the Spirit had taught me. I left the temple feeling rejuvenated. There were a lot of things I didn’t realize I was changing, but the Spirit had taught me and I have been making changes.
Class member: It opened me up. I came here seeking help for a child. I decided I needed to just sit and listen and open up. It made me realize that Parenting should be fun. We can sit and have fun. We are teaching, but parenting is fun and they are going to be gone so soon. Will they think…my Mom is a fun Mom? Parenting isn’t always about accomplishing. There isn’t only one right way to do it. I don’t attack life so much I have some fun with my kids.
When I feel like it has helped someone then I want to come again. As you share, lives are being changed, then I want to keep going. That is what it’s all about. It’s about your family. That’s what counts. That’s what we take with us. As long as I feel like there are those who are finding new truths, way, faith, love for being a parent, then I will still be here.
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