Class member: The color code helped the most. My oldest is a red and I’m a blue. I have a pleaser and a peace maker. To understand that is where she is and where she is coming it’s a relief to know she can learn the other colors.
Class member: Stress & Adversity was a good one for me. I don’t feel like I’m stressed a lot. I feel like I tend to be positive in trials. The positive thoughtsàpositive feelingsàpositive habitsà positive characteràcelestial nature. I was about to complain about my red daughter while I was running. This popped into my head and I decided to talk about the positive things about her. When I got home the atmosphere was better.
Class member: We actually do FHE with or without Dad. We have done it every time since we have done that class. My kids say the opening prayer and say, “We are thankful for having FHE.”
One of the things that has impacted me was when you shared the “I’m sorry” and he smacks her and backs up to do the steps.
Class member: You mentioned every child should have a picture of Christ and the temple in each room. I felt inspired that I should take my boys on a date individually to the temple. It was a good experience for them to go into the foyer and see the pictures. Taking them at different times helped. I took them to Deseret Book and let them pick a picture that touched them.
Class member: A huge impact for me was ‘ground zero’. I have one that I’m not sure what color they are…I think red. Emotion goes really high really fast. To remain at zero and know that there is baby steps. Just the pattern of staying constant and if you escalate they escalate. You are just teaching. You don’t have to jump into it with “they are out to get me.” To remember that it starts with me that has helped a lot.
It’s just changing percentages. Then it begins to change the atmosphere in the home. If you tomorrow you have a bad day and yell at them all day you can do better the next day. That principle is called “taking the wind out of their sails”. They can’t go anywhere if you don’t agree to fight back.
Most husbands the first time through don’t like me very much. Sometimes husbands feel threatened and attacked when you come home with a new idea. Over time when they see they are principles to help children grow they forgive me.
Class member: You talking about your red daughter helped me understand to not engage with my red daughter. Maybe she isn’t feeling understood and I’m not either.
Class member: The revelations I received this year were about my marriage. He wasn’t taught to communicate. We have had a bumpy road in our marriage. He’s never had counseling. I’ve been praying to know what I can do to help him. I talked about the revelation that I wasn’t being understood and he wasn’t feeling that way either. I talked to him about that. We talked about that. He defends his parents. He has change so much since he was growing up. We had a great discussion. I think it’s made a huge huge difference in my marriage. I think that in turn will make a huge difference with my children.
Class member: I think the Dating Academy has affected us the most. Every Monday she is hoping that it is Dating Academy. On Pinterest I came across a “Lucky vs Blessed” FHE and shared what I had learned with the Stress & Adversity. My daughter tied that “lucky” is selfish while “blessed” is looking out.
Class member: I loved the communication class with asking 3 questions before changing the topic. It helped me realize that I’ve had a couple of my kids that I’m not developing that communication with as much as others. I’ve closed my mouth and listened a little more.
After that class on communications, how many of you watched conversations with other people and they immediately turned it to themselves thinking they were sharing. I think they feel like it’s normal communication that you share your point. It’s to validate what the other person said and then share.
Class member: I have a friend that does that. I think she is doing it to be relatable, but she comes across as one-upping you.
It shuts you down. That’s what we do to our children. Rather than creating the understanding it shuts the door emotionally.
Class member: Our Elder’s Quorum put on a dinner a few weeks ago. Being on the opposite end of that the other lady kept asking me questions. It felt like she was really interested in me.
If you know that someone has an interest you ask lots of questions about those interests.
Class member: Last semester the Sabbath Day was very eye opening.
As we talked about it in class did you see it around you?
Class member: You can definitely point it in the right direction.
Class member: We have been having the conversation about not playing outside on the Sabbath. The Stake YM president in Stake Conference talked about the BYU rugby team was going to a game. It’s not affiliated with the school. All 35 girls unanimously decided not to play on Sunday. For him to hear it from me and then hear it from someone else it was really nice.
It’s so wonderful if someone validates what you have said.
Class member: That morning I was running late to class I prayed I would get out of it what I needed. What you said was an answer to my prayer with my oldest 8 yr old. You were talking about making sure that our children feel loved after discipline and correcting. We haven’t been doing that with her.
Never correct more than you have within you at that moment to bind back up.
Class member: The first class helped start making little tweaks and being more mindful. It helped me be aware of my actions. I’m a yeller, but I had been trying to rein that back. I felt like I wasn’t being heard. It was just more self realization. Doing the baby steps and implementing the tools. I’ve seen a positive response with my children. We are saying more family prayers. We are working on it becoming more of and every day thing. It brings the Spirit in.
I get the feeling that you don’t think that comment is too profound. It is extremely profound. She just gave you the heartbeat of the class. The first thing you have to do without guilt or defeat recognize where you are. You can’t change anything if you don’t know where you are. As soon as you are given something you are given more light and knowledge. It is a continually process of doing that. I like to use the analogy of the train going down the train track at night. They have a huge headlight that shows out on the track. As the train moves that light moves forward. As we move towards the celestial kingdom we can never reach the end of the light because as we move forward the light continues to move forward. We have to move so he can continue to move that light for us to embrace. We have to look at ourselves and see what we can improve on. Pick up that you can change percentages. That continues to move your light forward, as you make that effort that is your invitation to the Holy Ghost to inspire you to help you in your family. We have to choose to move to continue to receive that input. It doesn’t mean we have to perfect, just moving, making an effort.
Don’t lay down and quit even when they leave your home. I am still a Mom.
Class member: Stress & Adversity was a good one for me. I don’t feel like I’m stressed a lot. I feel like I tend to be positive in trials. The positive thoughtsàpositive feelingsàpositive habitsà positive characteràcelestial nature. I was about to complain about my red daughter while I was running. This popped into my head and I decided to talk about the positive things about her. When I got home the atmosphere was better.
Class member: We actually do FHE with or without Dad. We have done it every time since we have done that class. My kids say the opening prayer and say, “We are thankful for having FHE.”
One of the things that has impacted me was when you shared the “I’m sorry” and he smacks her and backs up to do the steps.
Class member: You mentioned every child should have a picture of Christ and the temple in each room. I felt inspired that I should take my boys on a date individually to the temple. It was a good experience for them to go into the foyer and see the pictures. Taking them at different times helped. I took them to Deseret Book and let them pick a picture that touched them.
Class member: A huge impact for me was ‘ground zero’. I have one that I’m not sure what color they are…I think red. Emotion goes really high really fast. To remain at zero and know that there is baby steps. Just the pattern of staying constant and if you escalate they escalate. You are just teaching. You don’t have to jump into it with “they are out to get me.” To remember that it starts with me that has helped a lot.
It’s just changing percentages. Then it begins to change the atmosphere in the home. If you tomorrow you have a bad day and yell at them all day you can do better the next day. That principle is called “taking the wind out of their sails”. They can’t go anywhere if you don’t agree to fight back.
Most husbands the first time through don’t like me very much. Sometimes husbands feel threatened and attacked when you come home with a new idea. Over time when they see they are principles to help children grow they forgive me.
Class member: You talking about your red daughter helped me understand to not engage with my red daughter. Maybe she isn’t feeling understood and I’m not either.
Class member: The revelations I received this year were about my marriage. He wasn’t taught to communicate. We have had a bumpy road in our marriage. He’s never had counseling. I’ve been praying to know what I can do to help him. I talked about the revelation that I wasn’t being understood and he wasn’t feeling that way either. I talked to him about that. We talked about that. He defends his parents. He has change so much since he was growing up. We had a great discussion. I think it’s made a huge huge difference in my marriage. I think that in turn will make a huge difference with my children.
Class member: I think the Dating Academy has affected us the most. Every Monday she is hoping that it is Dating Academy. On Pinterest I came across a “Lucky vs Blessed” FHE and shared what I had learned with the Stress & Adversity. My daughter tied that “lucky” is selfish while “blessed” is looking out.
Class member: I loved the communication class with asking 3 questions before changing the topic. It helped me realize that I’ve had a couple of my kids that I’m not developing that communication with as much as others. I’ve closed my mouth and listened a little more.
After that class on communications, how many of you watched conversations with other people and they immediately turned it to themselves thinking they were sharing. I think they feel like it’s normal communication that you share your point. It’s to validate what the other person said and then share.
Class member: I have a friend that does that. I think she is doing it to be relatable, but she comes across as one-upping you.
It shuts you down. That’s what we do to our children. Rather than creating the understanding it shuts the door emotionally.
Class member: Our Elder’s Quorum put on a dinner a few weeks ago. Being on the opposite end of that the other lady kept asking me questions. It felt like she was really interested in me.
If you know that someone has an interest you ask lots of questions about those interests.
Class member: Last semester the Sabbath Day was very eye opening.
As we talked about it in class did you see it around you?
Class member: You can definitely point it in the right direction.
Class member: We have been having the conversation about not playing outside on the Sabbath. The Stake YM president in Stake Conference talked about the BYU rugby team was going to a game. It’s not affiliated with the school. All 35 girls unanimously decided not to play on Sunday. For him to hear it from me and then hear it from someone else it was really nice.
It’s so wonderful if someone validates what you have said.
Class member: That morning I was running late to class I prayed I would get out of it what I needed. What you said was an answer to my prayer with my oldest 8 yr old. You were talking about making sure that our children feel loved after discipline and correcting. We haven’t been doing that with her.
Never correct more than you have within you at that moment to bind back up.
Class member: The first class helped start making little tweaks and being more mindful. It helped me be aware of my actions. I’m a yeller, but I had been trying to rein that back. I felt like I wasn’t being heard. It was just more self realization. Doing the baby steps and implementing the tools. I’ve seen a positive response with my children. We are saying more family prayers. We are working on it becoming more of and every day thing. It brings the Spirit in.
I get the feeling that you don’t think that comment is too profound. It is extremely profound. She just gave you the heartbeat of the class. The first thing you have to do without guilt or defeat recognize where you are. You can’t change anything if you don’t know where you are. As soon as you are given something you are given more light and knowledge. It is a continually process of doing that. I like to use the analogy of the train going down the train track at night. They have a huge headlight that shows out on the track. As the train moves that light moves forward. As we move towards the celestial kingdom we can never reach the end of the light because as we move forward the light continues to move forward. We have to move so he can continue to move that light for us to embrace. We have to look at ourselves and see what we can improve on. Pick up that you can change percentages. That continues to move your light forward, as you make that effort that is your invitation to the Holy Ghost to inspire you to help you in your family. We have to choose to move to continue to receive that input. It doesn’t mean we have to perfect, just moving, making an effort.
Don’t lay down and quit even when they leave your home. I am still a Mom.
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